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“Welcome!” a man inexplicably wearing a sock on each ear beams, beckoning you into his tiny apartment. Newspapers are plastered on every wall, not in a bizarre shrine to anyone in particular but rather as an alternative to wallpaper. In the centre of the room is a round, dark wood coffee table, which stands before an old, well-worn green sofa. Atop the table, a typewriter.

He rubs his rotund stomach and belches before removing his pyjama pants and sitting half naked on the sofa in front of the typewriter. His hands poised above the keyboard, he pauses.

“Ah!” He exhales, an index finger pointed in the air. He whips the socks off his ears, “that’s better.”

The click clack of the typewriter echoes around the cold, bare room as he strikes the keys.

Ding. Clack. Twist. Click clack, click clack…

He types a full page then, at the final ding, he looks up.

“What are you still doing looking at me? Take your pants off and get to work.”

—

Welcome one and all to the absurdists writing prompt game. First, you write a story (the length of which is entirely up to you) based on the previous posters writing prompt, with only one rule: it must be absolutely, utterly absurd.

When you are done, simply add a writing prompt at the end of your post for the next person along.

PROMPT: A man has bought a brand new car and has attended the garage to collect it.

Joe was driving over Westminster Bridge, happy as a clam in his shiny, spotless new Lambo, cruising for attractive foreign birds, when he heard the screams and started seeing people running along the pavement either side of him. He seized his chance and offered a couple of attractive women a ride, to help them escape faster; however, just as they had accepted the offer and vaulted over the passenger side door (Joe's top being, of course, down - what good is having a Lambo if you're going to keep the roof in place?) the source of all the brouhaha - a giant, rabid Pikachu as tall as the London Eye - came up from behind and devoured the vehicle whole, before casually stepping over the edge of the bridge, wading into the Thames and diving down towards the safety of his underwater lair. Soon, a few ripples on the surface of the water were all the evidence that was left of his presence.

PROMPT: A man goes out to walk his dog in the early evening.