GLOBAL Forums

I agree with your point on the cliffhanger, and yes, flashbacks do occur. The Wire forces you to remember what happened 8 episodes/hours of television ago.

HOWEVER.

Imagine if the All-Valley episodes of Cobra Kai kept cutting away from the tournament to show unrelated slice of life vignettes that took place three weeks prior. I'm not talking about when they show what really happened with Stingray. I'm talking about Hawk facing Robbie, and right before they step up, they show school drama with Sam from like, three weeks before, that is completely irrelevant to the situation. THAT is what should not happen here. Compare that with the last 'stinger' scene in Season 5 of that show. Or the last scene in Stranger Things S4. THAT has a place after the denouement, as a sort of epilogue cliffhanger. The other stuff would not have, and would make the flow of the show weird. Hopefully that makes sense. Obviously, handler discretion should come into use here.

Good points in return.

Do we keep 'cutting away' here? I mean, we're not doing it during important matches to tie it with the All-Valley example. But, let's try it for a show. I want to avoid the start of a show being too top-heavy.

We don't cut away during matches, but we sometimes do go back in time after them. At the very least, the segs set in the past should come before the actual show (segs in the present can always be considered to be taking place DURING it, as would happen in a real TV show.)

Examples based on GLOBAL itself, and Dom #3 in particular:
We can be at the arena, cut to Valorie visiting Jed at the Local Medical Facility, or John J. at the bar, or Pierson on a date - which are all happening WHILE the show is on, just elsewhere - then return to the arena.
We should NOT be at the arena on Jan 9, randomly cut to the BoB in England before Christmas, then back to 'real-time' on Jan 9. That should always come BEFORE the show officially starts in-universe.

As most segments are happening in real time anyway, this should not be too big of a problem.

Some thoughts on your thoughts, Keegan...

- If we go weekly, I don't have capacity to keep up with that unfortunately.
- I don't think all "pre-recorded stuff" needs to go first at all. It fits where it fits. For example, Braun Strowman tipping a car over, pre-recorded, ends a show on RAW. A video package for that army woman appears in the middle of Smackdown. A Bray Wyatt video package/promo drops halfway through someone elses in-ring promo, or randomly on the return from an ad break. Splitting a show in half because your segment happens to be pre-recorded, so must be in the first half, doesn't make sense to me.

Examples based on GLOBAL itself, and Dom #3 in particular:
We can be at the arena, cut to Valorie visiting Jed at the Local Medical Facility, or John J. at the bar, or Pierson on a date - which are all happening WHILE the show is on, just elsewhere - then return to the arena.
We should NOT be at the arena on Jan 9, randomly cut to the BoB in England before Christmas, then back to 'real-time' on Jan 9. That should always come BEFORE the show officially starts in-universe.

The example you've given here... I don't see an issue with any of this. The characters are all different, telling different stories. just like in wrestling you go from Al Snow vs Perry Saturn, to PREVIOUSLY ON RAW, to backstage interview, to earlier in the week Big Boss Man steals Big Show's dead dad, back to the ring for Hurricane Helms vs Miss Kitty...

We won't go weekly, Scott. It's not something I believe anyone wants to do.
I agree on your second point, but I'll wait for others to weigh in.

Scott is approaching this from a wrestling show POV, and his points are absolutely correct and make sense for that format.
I am approaching this as a full-fledged TV show, and I think my points are correct and make sense for that format.
I'm interested in everyone else's thoughts.

RENT IS DUE: Line 4, there is a + sign for some reason. Colons used before speech. Who is Darren? What's an SCW? The word "league". I do like how punchy the ending is, though. Rent is due, and he's gunna take it in BLOOOOOOOD.

THE GAME IS AFOOT: Sounds like we're having a tournament to decide the first champion.

TALK ABOUT A PRICE CHANGE: Little minx.

I'LL DO MY BEST: Colons before speech marks. Sets up the match, but could have been placed immediately before the match so Best just walks through the curtain to his music.

HOLD ON PLAYERS: When introducing a character the convention is to use their full name on their first mention, i.e. Amber Lee rather than Amber. Avery? her name changes. Then "replied", the tense changes briefly to past tense. Just needs tightening up a bit and a 2nd draft writing before submitting which requires time spent away from the writing before you take that second read through. I think that would fix most/all of the issues I've had with this piece. That said, I like the Amber/Alfie chemistry. They're a good pairing. Also, colons before speech again.

SPACE ODDITY: A spaceman. YES! And a really shit one, by the looks of him. Even better. Already love this character. A couple of grammatical errors. A bloody colon before dialogue, and the word "moment's" which should be moments, but again a quick 2nd draft an hour after writing would clear those bits up. Didn't ruin it for me, just observations.

HAPPY NEW YEAR: I have no idea what just happened but I enjoyed it thoroughly.

More later.

Count me in as one who doesn't think we should go weekly or all the pre-recorded first (though I am willing to see what it looks like.) I will always look at e-wrestling from a wrestling show versus a TV show. But that's because that is what interests me.

To me - you write a wrestling show with creative freedom and allowances that obviously WWE/AEW does not have.

I also may be one of the few with no issues with the size. I don't know if we would want it to grow too much bigger outside PPVs, but as it's been said, you don't have to leave full-fledged feedback. The deadlines are spread out pretty fair.

I would take the praise and excitement from this show, consider that you may be onto something, and continue to tweak that before changing too much.

Just my two cents as somebody who has been evolving his thoughts and styles in GLOBAL since I started here.

To answer the topics brought up, I think adding in a fair word count for the segments/matches is going to be the easiest and best way to limit the size of the show. I understand that isn't necessary or some people, but I am on the side that the regular shows shouldn't be the length of a ppv.

I agree with sticking to bi-weekly.

I agree that all the flashbacks segments going at the start might make the first half of the show frontloaded with segments, but it also does sometimes feel that the jums back and forth in the timeline are a bit jarring.

I recommend a simple "1 week before Domination 03" or the like before a flashback segment to orient the reader.

As for referencing old feds that others weren't a part of, obviously that comes down to personal taste, but I'm reminded of a video I once saw on the strength of Star Wars worldbuilding. In it, the video noted how in "A New Hope" the characters would references things the audience knew nothing about (until later material anyway), the "Clone Wars" the "Senate" ect. This served to make the world feel alive and the characters more natural. People had pasts, inside jokes, old acquintances that we weren't familiar with and by casually refencing these things, as real people do, it mae the world feel more real.

To me, not everything can, or even should be exposition for the audience.

Sometimes, a character can just ask "So what's Jim been doing since Falling Man?" Without needing to say "What's my oldest brother Jim who I haven't seen in ten years been doing since our band Falling Man broke up due to a sex scandal?"

And to the question of "Why should they?"

Why WOULDN'T they? Realistically, if these are three dimensional characters, why would they not reference events rom their past when it's contextually appropriate?

I basically agree with everything Shae just said.