GLOBAL Forums

I won't review the 3 parts I wrote, but will mention them....I try to break it down segment by segment and then give my overall thoughts at the end.....

WELCOME TO GLOBAL - Nice little intro of the announcers. Lucas should have said "fake news" instead of false, but that is being nit-picky.

VIEW FROM THE OTHER SIDE - I liked how this opened with the close up of the apple. I think it sold what Global was to be about and like. I know we were set to be more relaxed on language, but I felt this one took advantage of that without it really aiding the segment much. Good stuff all around.

MIND OVER MATTER - If you read the "pilot" show (Show Zero), then you know jumping from place and time will not be shocking in Global and here we have it..."somewhere in Tokyo, Japan" starts this one off. Again a lot of cursing that probably isn't needed to get the same points across, but that is my own thing (and you will see Pierson swears too). I get a VERY strong Harley Quinn vibe from the female character....AND WHAT ARE THE NAMES OF THOSE IN THE SEGMENT?!?!?!?!?! (Screw you, Scott....I will use punctuation as I please you posh Fiver git) This is a debut show and nobody is truly a known quantity except MAYBE Reyn, Malta, Dream, and Darring. I would have liked to have known who these people were....I read it 3 times and still didn't catch names anywhere.

4 WAY FOR TAG TITLES - A lot of action and this gives us some interesting set up for the future. It has been awhile since I have read and wrote matches without commentary and there are positives and negatives to both. Lots of action and the pacing was sold. We have our first set of champions and now the storytelling begins.

BLACK FRIDAY - I will admit I was strongly feeling Patrick Bateman (American Psycho) vibes when I created Pierson, but in writing this kind of brought out my inner Alex from a Clockwork Orange. This character is something very different and I hope he comes across well.

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN - Solid Malta segment here. Video tron? Do we have that in Global? I'm honestly not sure that this was ever spelled out for us. I like that Malta shows the footage of Keegan and WAR doing battle....foreshadowing? Maybe.

REMEMBER ME? - Gemini is a character that has previously spoken in one show 2 years ago or so. I wish I had went back to read that interview before writing this, but it was well enough to set up the match.

MALTA VS GEMINI - The entire crux of this was to sell the submission hold of Malta as legit. Hope it worked.

CONSUME - LOL Always love commercials, especially when they fit a character. Doritos man lives.

THE STAR - I like that this brings the entertainment and wrestling world immediately into a clash. Agents discussing wrestling talent and giving insights to some of the talent. I enjoyed that this identified all those involved and everyone discussed. Nice building block segment.

THE ONE - As someone who worked as a newspaper reporter for nearly 3 years.....it is "AN historic day." It doesn't make sense and sounds freaking awful tot he ear, but that is the proper grammar there. Also catch ths man's name...."Benedict Beel Zebub" The devil's name is Beelzebub....I love this segment.

THE DREAMS OF BIG AUG - This fulfilled everything said about Lazar in the the earlier segment. I will say that the tag line "chow down or throw down" is a bit MEH....but I reserve final judgment on it until I see how it all plays out.

LAZAR VS MARX - This was a beatdown that was expected to get Lazar started right. Plenty of power. "Chow time" is a tad better on tag lines, but the guy is coming off as if he is a Kevin Nash sized version of Ryback. LOL That isn't bad and I can dig it.

VIRAL COMEDY - This showed Jerry David's old school side vs EZ's new school. It was a really fun little segment. I keep picturing Jerry Stiller in my head on Seinfeld yelling "YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME!" hehehe

KINGDOM COME - Here is the misplaced segment I had already been told existed. The team hits a nice note here to introduce themselves, but much like the shockmaster, I'm not as invested as they already plowed through the wall and lost in the opening match. lol

SQUARE GO - Keegan appears and gives us a call back to the pilot episode by mentioning United. He touts Ansell and they seemingly get interrupted by Davey-boy O'Brien....it is a really nice set up for their match.

JOIN THE LIBRARY! - love the segment HATE the placement. To m e, if this played out in real life you have killed a moment with advertising pause right when as JR would say "business is about to pick up." But for the segment itself....I liked it and it reminded me of Chappelle's "Samuel Jackson beer" commercial back on his show (do yourself a favor and YouTube search it....it'll get you drunk! lol

ANSELL VS DAVEY BOY - I realize Keegan is willing to allow his characters to get rolled a little more than most would, but this match could have had a bit more to it. This ended up feeling like it was more of a larger set up for a 6 man match by the end. I felt Ansell deserved better for the weight he was given in the set up segment....but Davey Boy going over is the right call. Davey Boy is a character that has always been full of promise and I'm excited to see what happens with him here.

GETTING YOUR FLOWERS - This character was a ton of fun. I loved the league rattle off where he gives up and throws letters and numbers out. I loved this was take after take. This was a lot of fun to read and I laughed out loud on the third take and then he literally takes his bat and ball and goes home because he can't handle the boos. lol We seriously may not deserve this treasure trove.

LEGENDS NEVER DIE - For someone who has never written novel style, Brian really did well here. I loved how he took the questions and just ripped them up. Darring is the cornerstone, it would seem, especially from Giovanni's introduction. By the way, thanks for the nod to my main character....that was unexpected and appreciated to be thought of. I think it set up the main event well.

PRIME TIME VIEWING - The fan in me hates these two immediately and that shows the segment did what it seems to want to do....introduce these men and make us not want them to succeed from a fan perspective. Really fun segment here.

VITALITY VS PRINCIPE - Best part of this match for me was the different languages used for the count. Loved that! I will say this....I do not think we need a line where the winner is stated. "Winner: Valorie Vitality" If you read the match, you know and this line would only serve to allow for skipping the match and missing any good stuff added within for character or angle progression.

FROM A TO SO BE IT - I'm not sure why this segment starts a trend of extra line breaks between paragraphs and etc, but it was a little off-putting for me as a reader. I do hope we can fix that. This segment has multiple characters involved and Best and Button are 2 of my favs from Keegan's stable of bios. Amber seems to fit in and almost ends up overshadowed. I love that Best and Button continue their gamesmanship with each other and Reyn is again referenced from past stuff with them all.

OLD SCHOOL VS NEW SCHOOL - Segment does what it needs to - set up Vitality's next match. I like Jed holding her to the flame on pro wrestling, but Valorie seems to represent what Global is to be about. I get the Valorie character, but I'm still not buying in on her yet.

BLIND DATE - Another segment where Best and Button star and then add in Amber at the end. I wonder if Best will be salty the crowd favored Amber.

ALFIE/AMBER VS HEALTH FANATICS - You know what disappoints me? No Health Fanatic segment. This could have been better set up if Amber had been in front of a mirror or even in the gym earlier that day and the Fanatic came up and tried to critique her workout style, body shape, etc etc. Plus it would have given us more of a desire to see them get their butts handed to them. Far as the match, it was a solid tag affair that allowed both Amber and Alfie to get some spots and show out a little. This is exactly what a debut show should be about. Solid stuff here.

RWDNWAAA! - I got a chuckle on this advertisement as well...these were all funny.

NERVES OF STEEL - Very abrupt segment that tries to sell Steel as a boxer that has a gift of gab and will wrestle? This segment seems like it sells Global is still recruiting. This may have been better placed on the pilot. It just seems out of place for some reason.

X-FACTOR - Button is Mr. Connections it seems tonight. Everybody seems connected to him in some fashion or another and so he is used to give an intro rub to people. This segment was best described by the final line of it: "Button, almost worn out by the conversation..." as it kind of wore me out. The character with a name like Crusader X doesn't seem like a name of someone who would gab the way he did. Juxtaposition aside, this did what it needed to do in introducing Crusader X, but I didn't land on any real feeling for him in this. Need to see more to see what I think there.

THEY CALL ME FAT MAN - Steve Dann is another treasure to see. Simply turned the question on itself and had fun with it. Love the Fat man.

VIP VS DANN - Loved the interaction with the referee. With the way things have been set in Global, this feels different when I read it....like it means more when they talk to the referee in the ring. VIP pulls a heel classic at the end and that is fine by me. VIP can play both sides of the aisle (face or heel) and I think he is a better heel really. Great stuff here and not overly long either.

EAT YOU ON THE FOOD CHAIN - LOVED this.....Giovanni starts out this shows like he is more of a fan than a boss.....but here...HERE he whips it out on VIP. This was a very interesting interaction and it makes one wonder if the fan boy tendency we saw earlier segments is just an act and Giovanni is more ruthless behind the scenes.

FINAL COUNTDOWN - Nice setup for the main event here. A view we normally wouldn't be given at all and it really aided int he set up for just how big a deal it is for the average Global worker to see Darring in the league. This sets Darring up as our Terry Funk and I love the grizzled vet willing to make others kind of vibe here.

DARRING VS DREAM - Match of the night by a mile. Shae did a great job here of allowing both men to look really good. Stylistically, I was put off by all the space within the counts. I know I have done this in SCW and etc back when I ran leagues, but we were writing script format and that extra space was meant to coven time and anticipation. IN the style we write here, I'm not sure it is necessary and it was the ONLY drawback to this match. It had all the action you want and I was drawn in. The finish was a perfect one to put a wily veteran over another skilled man in the squared circle. Very well done and a fitting first main event!



OVERALL THOUGHTS - 6.5/10 rating from me.

The show's overall pacing was solid. The matches earlier in the show did not overshadow the main event in any way and yet all did as needed and told stories and introduced characters.

I feel like we still haven't REALLY tapped into what Keegan's full vision for Global was yet. This played out like a regular show in many ways and not many segments seemed to be away from the venue.

The spacing issue both with blank areas and the extra dots int he main event were hitches, but didn't overpower the show and hurt my enjoyment of it. Same goes for a few typos and tense issues. There will ALWAYS be some of those that sneak through.

I feel like Darring was the face of the show and VIP sort of came off as the top heel of the show.

Main event was match of the night and it wasn't even close.

There are many characters I'm interested in seeing more from, others I'm interested in seeing how they develop further. There is no character anywhere that I felt was awful or etc....and that is the key for a first show. The league has developed interest....that is the point.

This is a different style for most and in my historical viewpoint of having been in this hobby for nearly 28 years (dang, I'm old!) I do enjoy the commentary script for better, especially for gathering the optics and context of any particular scene or event quickly. However, I also know that explodes the size of shows and takes a lot longer to create from a writing perspective.

This was a nice read and didn't take forever to make it through.

Overall great job everybody and let's see where it takes us from here.

As an addendum.....

Commercials could be really fun.....if we had a set 3 or 4 advertisers, but a different wrestler appears in each one. And the handler writes it as their character would do.....

Like imagine Alexcander doing the Library advert..... Just a funny idea

Keegan wrote: ↑Thu Dec 08, 2022 1:17 pm We'll get those edited out, too! Thanks very much for bringing up, though, Pedro. Much appreciated.

Less writing, more editing for the next show.

No need mate, I'm sure the guys will edit their own work

Looks like I have to write a lot more advertisements...

Let me start and say right off the back - I come from a different efed circle - that has a different Promo/match style. I gave the style my best shot on my two pieces, and I am still getting used to digesting shows and segments in this style.

WELCOME TO GLOBAL: An early Christmas present is right. It sets the tone for the show as we kick things off.

THE VIEW FROM THE OTHER SIDE: Interesting visuals with the apple. I had to read it a few times to digest the segment, which is mostly my fault as I got used to reading pieces written in this style. Creative, and I am looking forward to seeing more from the character.

MIND OVER MATTER: Unfamiliar with the characters, and I feel that this will be the night's theme for me - A fun back-and-forth dialogue; although, with these two, I think GLOBAL needs to get their censor button ready!

THE BEST OF BRITISH Vs. THE RICH FAMILY Vs. THE DIRTY BIRDS Vs. THE MASTER SISTERS: While I do admit I miss commentary, announcer banter, and story hand-holding by the announcers, I understand the purpose of it not being here. I like multi-tag matches, especially early on, as you get familiar with all the teams. The action and sequence were good - I just didn’t know much about the teams, who they are, their story, and all that, and it would have been nice to have some context, even if there was commentary before and after the match to offer up some context. I thought the Rich Family might pull it out, but that is because I am familiar with them and nobody else! We have first tag team champions - The Master Sisters, and I don't know much about most of these teams; after a match outside, they made some cool wrestling moves.

BLACK FRIDAY? PERHAPS: I dug this RP… It was clear who was in the segment - I had some basic familiarity with the character due to the pilot show. I feel this will be a slow build with Pierson, but I am digging it and want to see more.

GONE...BUT NOT FORGOTTEN: I am familiar with the Son of Malta from SCW. I enjoy well-written teases, especially early in a league or around debuts. This works for me. It’s simple, but it gives you plenty of information and hype to prepare your taste buds for his match later.

REMEMBER ME?: I would have liked a bit of commentary sell job between these two segments - I think it would have worked nicely, but I am going to sound like a broken record because it’s my biggest knock with the show in general. I think jumping from one hype to another hype time after time loses some luster without the sell jobs. But, now that I've gotten past that - Being unfamiliar with the character, this checks all the boxes. I know who it is. I get the feeling about what he is about. It leaves me looking to see more. Sometimes simple just works, and this does it for me. I am now ready for Malta vs. Gemini. Well done.

GEMINI V SON OF MALTA: The last match title said Vs, and this said V. Small nit-pick for sure, would prefer some unity in the match format. I liked the two hype promos by Malta and Gemini right before the match. They were good hype segments, and with all the segments could have gotten lost if the match was later. The placement was good here. I am a broken record, but I would have again liked some commentary to flavor and hype up the match after their promos before the match if we aren’t going to use them inside the match itself. I think there are appropriate stories and context for the fed itself can add, and after two hype pieces, this would have been a good time to follow it up with some. It would have done both guys well in further building them up, introducing them to the GLOBAL audience, and leaving us wanting more. Missed the opportunity there. The match wasn’t as competitive as I expected; actually, I like Son of Malta though so good to see him go over. Just with the effort on the hype, I was ready for a good back-and-forth match. Now, I am questioning whether Gemini is an NPC, and I was just pulled in by the fedhead.

ADVERTISEMENT: I don’t know what the heck I just read. I am not a big fan of advertisement pieces unless it has some purpose for the show. I don’t know the context of this. Is there a purpose? Was it just supposed to be funny? Am I being trolled? I am sure Scott has something to do with this, though.

THE STAR: Now, I like this. With things being early and I am part of an audience that is unfamiliar with the majority of the roster, this sort of paints a picture for me. I am fully on board with this segment - the only thing it’s missing is follow-up hype and dialogue, further selling the stars mentioned by the announcers. But, I am thankful as a reader for segments like this. It helps flesh out some things and, at the same time, raises new questions.

THE ONE: At first, I was a little confused; it seems to be a part of the same segment as before - as Benedict interrupts the board's discussion. I dig the concept just the break between the two segments confused me. Would it have been better just as one segment? I guess this is just a standard for how this type of show is written, and it’s new to me. Once I figured it out, I thought the idea was solid, and the added bit to the above segment worked.

THE BIG DREAMS OF BIG AUG: Like earlier, this segment works for me because it gives us a window into who Big Aug is. As somebody unfamiliar with him at this time - The small, simple hype introduction does so much more for me than a random bit of dialog because it allows me to connect with the character first. I enjoyed it, setting the tone for the match following up.

"BIG AUG" AUGUST LAZAR VS. "VERIFIED" CHETT MARX: Okay, after that last hype segment and nothing but a hand raise by Chett Marx… and let’s be honest, a classic jobber-type name. I am already feeling awful for Mr. Verified. With a quick blink of the eyes and Big Aug eats Chett Marx. I enjoyed the interaction from Big Aug with the crowd. It was a simple job squash that we all saw coming a mile away, but it was done in a way that further builds the character and introduces him to the league. It did the job it was supposed to, and that works.


VIRAL COMEDY: I like the concept - I am still determining the name E Z Rah. He should stick to just Ezra Johnson! Anyway, we get to Jerry David. I like the back and forth between E Z … nope, Ezra Johnson and Jerry David. I like the interaction and the start of an early feud - it draws you in. You dislike Ezra right away with his nickname. Jerry David must save us! Well done, we have a rivalry.

KINGDOM COME: Alright, I see what is going on here. Some solid heel work with an introduction. Not, sure if I would have placed it here in the show, but I respect the work and look forward to more from them.

A SQUARE GO, AYE?: Oh boy, it’s Keegan time? *Yawn* Oh, Davey O'Brien, there is a name I am familiar with from SCW interrupts, and they had some business in SCW too. Now, I am paying attention. I am obviously (I hope) teasing Keegan. I like this segment maybe more than I should, but that’s because I actually know some of the context here, and that may be a first.


ADVERTISEMENT: Oh no, no more Doritos … What the - now I wish this was about Doritos! I now want to see the angry librarian Dean Douglas-type heel.

FLYIN' RYAN ANSELL Vs DAVEY-BOY O'BRIEN: Will Flyin’ Ryan become a Hollywood Blonde later? Would be quite fitting for an LA-based fed, eh? Davey O’Brien squashes Flyin Ryan, and he may need to become a Hollywood Blonde faster than we thought with performances like that.

GETTING YOUR FLOWERS: Wanker? Oh, man, those are fighting words right there! I always like a well-timed flex, btw. Reading this, I have to pause and mention how much I love the name Aleczander The Great. I followed this well; being new to the novel style, this wasn’t too far off from the style I am used to, outside a few differences. One of my favorite segments thus far. I don’t know his resume, but his name, theme, and self-proclaimed Hall of Famer nickname make him seem big. Good heel work!

LEGENDS NEVER DIE: Ehhh, I don’t like reviewing my own work. However, I will say a few things. Thanks to Keegan for helping hold my hand through my first novel-style RP. I am not sure the placement felt right for the RP - some commentary context around it probably would have made that a moot point. Otherwise, tear it apart.

PRIME TIME VIEWING: Ooof, I apologize you all had to sit through back-to-back segments written by me. That was not very nice of Keegan at all. Thanks to the handler who sent me the questions. I hope I captured your character by using him to respond and bicker back and forth with the PTA. These are newish characters, so I am still getting the hang of them. Plus, I am naturally a better face writer.

VALORIE VITALITY Vs EL PRINCIPE: Ahh, yes El Principe. I do know the character from SCW, and I am a fan. This match was a nice change from some of the earlier squashes. With all the squashes, it was starting to feel a little like WCW Thunder. El Principe’s resume makes him seem like a good opponent and a big win for Valorie Vitality. Good match and I like the UNO, DOS, and TRES count!

FROM A TO SO BE IT: I am familiar with Alfie; he had some good moments in SCW. I liked the interaction between Lee and Button. I like collaboration segments. Some of the spacing is sort of throwing me off, but that's a minor complaint. Add Darren Best, and this turned into an enjoyable segment with lots of names mentioned. Not sure where it’s going, but I am on board.

OLD SCHOOL V NEW SCHOOL: A post-match follow-up by Valorie Vitality. It works for me. We get some character build after beating the legend, El Principe. Then Jed Johnson shows up to rain on her parade, and we have a match for next week. Alright, that is good stuff and well-timed. I am in on that.

BLIND DATE: Added angle work with Alfie, Daren Best, and Amber Lee. I wonder if there should have been more time between the two segments. Just a little thought. We have some added guests - and this turns out to be pretty fun. It gives some old-school wrestling vibes when Ric Rude was involved or something.

ALFIE BUTTON & AMBER LEE Vs HEALTH FANATICS: I always liked the Health Fanatics for NPCs. They are a fun team that you can easily play off. Button and Lee have been built up well in this show - This was a well-done match - Would have loved some commentary with the earlier angle work with Lee and Button, but cel-la-ve.

ADVERTISEMENT: Oh no, we had Doritos, an angry librarian, and now what? This is starting to feel like one of those weird health commercials I see on HULU. I don’t need viagra, Hulu leave me alone! Okay, I don’t know what I read - maybe it should have just been a viagra commercial. Keegan needs to talk to his boy.

NERVES OF STEEL: Oh, no spacing again. We have some more press conference work, I guess I wasn’t alone in thinking that. It may have been neat to collaborate and have this before mine. Not sure. I may be overthinking that.

THE X-FACTOR: Holy-Alfie! Mr. Button is all over the place. I would have liked to see his work on the show spread out more. Feels very Alfie-heavy in the second half. It would have been easy to spread this out on such a big show.

THEY CALL ME THE FAT MAN…: The Fat Man! Who isn’t a fan of the Fat Man? It would be cool if Dann wore a little coat to his matches and smashed out of it Tommy Boy style. Okay, maybe it wouldn’t be.

'THE FAT MAN' STEVE DANN V VIP: Dann is totally going to win this, right? Oh, there was a Dann-winning tease, you bastards! VIP pulls the win out as expected. Good match that breaks all our hearts. First, the Health Fanatics lose, and now Steve Dann. This show is turning out to be a bummer.

AND HERE, I EAT YOU ON THE FOOD CHAIN: Holy spacing, now it’s getting a little annoying. I know Keegan has mentioned some spacing issues. I am sure that will get cleaned up eventually. There is VIP - the man we all hate just after beating the future Hall of Famer Steve Dann. Solid post-match work with the boss and VIP. Continues to make VIP seem like a big deal.

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN: Hey, that is Sean Darring’s theme song! Oh, it’s more boardroom work. Hyping up Darring’s opponent for the main event. Okay, let’s find out who will knock my guy around! Well placed hype segment before the main event that has a mystery. I am ready to find out who and see GLOBAL’s first-ever main event.

"THE LEGEND" SEAN DARRING Vs ???: I feel like things are going to be bad for the Legend. Mystery opponents always show up and do well. Former SCW World Champion, indeed. CWF HOFer, hmmm - did we have to print that? The spacing plague shows up again. The opponent - is Daniel Dream. I don’t know who that is, but Quinn lets me know he is a big deal. I can tell Shae wrote this match (and I mean that as a compliment). He wrote Reyn and LSD in SCW, and it was amazing.

Some good back and forth. I like that Darring has to rely on his experience and awareness to keep up with the skill set of Dream. I don’t mind the scrolling and stuff my circle used quite often, even though the other matches didn’t use them - this is the main event and makes it feel bigger. I am sure some may not like it, but I am not finding an issue with it.

I really miss commentary in this match, but Shae is doing a good enough job of drawing me in with the action and some nuggets. The illegally closed fist gave me a chuckle.

Low Blow on Darring. The older we get, the harder it is to overcome those!

Dream starting to use heel tactics. I like the sequence and mind games there. Shae did a good job with reactions - showing frustration and disbelief at that moment was a good touch.

The Triangle Choke Armbar on Dream, then countered into the big powerbomb spot, was really nice. The desperation kick-out was spot on.

The back-and-forth near falls - really brings the match to its final chapter. Then the counters into the Last Hunt were huge. Daniel Dream is being built up big here, and I love it.

Darring using every bit of his experience to hang on is awesome. Getting Dream into the Tree of Woe was an underrated moment/spot.

Dream controlling things feels like a setup for heartbreak for the youngster. And the ending sequence - WOW! That was a big first main event. While Darring got the win, Dream looked huge. Shae did outstanding again, hitting all the keys in the main event like this.

There was a mystery; a new top star was built, the legend already built up earlier in the show backed up the hype, and we had a memorable match and end.

Many thanks for the effort, Shae!


CLOSING THOUGHTS:

It was a really well-done first show. Great effort across the board. We had tag champs crowded, we started the pecking order with the board naming some names. Daniel Dream was built into a massive star, Alfie Button was all over the place, and GLOBAL needs new advertisers and a main event for the ages.

Some spacing issues.

I am not sure about handlers picking the segment placing - I think the show writers have a better idea of where the segments best fit. I’d rather see us - the handlers request a segment spot, and then it’s personally assigned by the show writers.

I also really miss commentators, as you can tell from my comments.

All in all, great work. I am looking forward to the next show. Congratulations to Keegan for getting his first show out; it was a success.

OK, here we go.

BEST MATCH: I will join the herd in praisng the Main Event, even if there IS such a thing as too many reversals/false finishes and overusage of one spot (the consecutive rollup reversal is one of my favourite spots, but I did NOT need to see it like three times in quick succession.) With that said, I love that Dream working the wrong side (hey yo!) was a key plot point in the lead-up to the finish.

Overall, however, there was not one weak match in the bunch - I especially enjoyed Valorie's tour de force, and Amber Button's chemistry inside and outside the ring.

I do also want to shout out that false finish in the Steve Dann match - holy SHIT, that got me!

BEST SEGMENT: Alfie and Amber, all the way. I ship it. HARD. Although, I personally would have split that segment into two sections, as it ran a little overlong after Alfie met his best mate.

BEST ANGLE: With not a lot to choose from, I have to give the nod to The United Kingdom vs Keegan's Kompadres. This should be fun.

BEST LINE OF THE NIGHT: Anything written in the El Principe match.

ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT: Typos and placeholders, placeholders and typos. Will also echo Hop's sentiment that it still felt a little too much like a standard wrestling show, as opposed to a show ABOUT wrestling - more RAW than GLOW. But that's to be expected when it's a first show for a new concept, and many efedders don't know how to write for shows any other way, and are playing it safe to boot. Growing pains, baby steps, and all that - but come on, guys! Don't be afraid to do scenes away from the arena!

I will also defend my choice to not identify anybody in my two opening segments by stating that in real TV shows, you don't necessarily know everybody's name or who they are right away - sometimes you need to watch on to find that out. That's what I was going for here.

TL;DR great first show, but we can do (even) better. Excited to be here, and hopefully help GLOBAL be at least as good as the SCW revival. Great job, Keegs - keep it up!

Onwards to Dom #2 - Single Spacing Boogaloo!

pdbnb wrote: ↑Thu Dec 08, 2022 4:13 pm
I will also defend my choice to not identify anybody in my two opening segments by stating that in real TV shows, you don't necessarily know everybody's name or who they are right away - sometimes you need to watch on to find that out. That's what I was going for here.

That is fair. It's difficult in a game like this - you don't always know that is what the writer is going for. And sometimes you don't catch what the writers aiming for later. But, very fair point.

Thanks very much for the feedback, guys.

Yes, the spacing bother me too, and I was about 99% responsible for it. I hope to sort a lot of that out for the next show. Great point on v and vs, and Chris mentioned not saying who 'won' the match at the end - something I've 'grown' up with, I guess. Things for us to 'standardise/standardize' in the future. I had a ridiculous idea about a style guide a long time ago, not for you to read, and it wouldn't have been long, but just some basic rules.
I'll drop some of these things in a thread in the future. Don't let me forget.

Jerry David wrote: ↑Thu Dec 08, 2022 3:24 pm Looks like I have to write a lot more advertisements...

I thought the same.

I'd like some people to write one or two, and I'll be doing A LOT once we're a few more shows in...

Jerry David wrote: ↑Thu Dec 08, 2022 3:21 pm

Keegan wrote: ↑Thu Dec 08, 2022 1:17 pm We'll get those edited out, too! Thanks very much for bringing up, though, Pedro. Much appreciated.

Less writing, more editing for the next show.

No need mate, I'm sure the guys will edit their own work

Wink, wink, nudge, nudge?

Still, I feel sloppy and I mean, I have edited and do edit people, but I was too focused on certain aspects of writing.