DOMINATION 02 - Feedback Thread

Please post all your feedback for the shows here
Jerry David
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DOMINATION 02 - Feedback Thread

Post by Jerry David »

Hi Everyone,

Feedback on show 2 is welcome in all formats, but here are some prompts for you if you aren't sure:

BEST MATCH:
BEST SEGMENT:
BEST ANGLE:
BEST LINE OF THE NIGHT:
ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT:

We understand it's a BIG show, so some of you might not get to read it all. That's understandable. But please leave feedback on what you DID read here!

Sign-up's for show 3 will be added on the relevant forum soon, and are MANDATORY. (no sign up, no go.)

Cheers,
sc00t
Jerry David
Site Admin
Posts: 261
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Re: DOMINATION 02 - Feedback Thread

Post by Jerry David »

Going to War
Wonder where it's going, but not a lot else at the moment.

Dream On:
A nice intro to the show.

Secret Santa:
Love the way this one is written. Great voice. Sets up a match for the next show.

The Diamond Casino:
Great improvement from the writer who KIIIIINDA made a mistake with their tenses last week, lol. It's really well written, in fact. Great imagery, I can almost smell the scene.

Out of line... Or back in line.
VIP is off the show. This angle is going to be a good one.

Advertisement
Check this out if you like Baseball.

The Flames
If anyone tries to quote me on this, I'll deny it and accuse you of Photoshopping any screenshots you may take, but this segment written by Chris was fucking brilliant, and is a shining example of the "off camera" stuff Keegan has mentioned. It has it all... It's off-site, it's supernatural, and... and... it's well written. Fuck you, Chris.

Prime Time Failure
This segment should have been 4 times as long and had way more to it. I was looking forward to an exercise-off or something, but it just sputtered out at the end there. A shame really, because this could be a good angle.

Viral Comedy (2)
Gold. Absolute gold.

Having A Nice Chat
Comedy gold. GLOBAL's first merch! Reddit jokes! I do get a gut feeling about this Del character, though...

Amber Lee Vs El Principe
Absolutely no point this being on the show. No entrances for a start, short and entirely pointless match. Not written by someone whose heart is in it, would be my guess.

A New Day For Old Men
Written by an old man. A very old man. A very old man indeed. Sets up a stable, I guess. Very short, not much to it.
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Legend
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Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2022 6:44 pm

Re: DOMINATION 02 - Feedback Thread

Post by Legend »

Obviously there is more to the PTA stuff my friend. Guess it can be argued that I didn’t set it up well enough for the reader to realize that.
Handle: "The Legend" Sean Darring & Prime Time Athletes
Keegan
Posts: 360
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2022 8:52 pm

Re: DOMINATION 02 - Feedback Thread

Post by Keegan »

Okay, as always, I don’t review my own stuff so that knocks the first three segments out, other than to say I echo Scott’s thoughts that the Master Sisters do, indeed, have a great voice and Pedro did the lion’s share of the (good) work in ‘Secret Santa.’ This won’t be

I adore the premise of Aleczander The Great. The start of this cheers me up, and I’m going to enjoy that while it lasts, because it won’t for the duration of this review, let me tell you that now. Seth has got so many small details here in terms of referring to things showing he pays attention despite being busy, plus Aleczander’s dialogue is a blast. We know what the outcome of the match is, BUT it contained some very good near-falls and was a fine opener. Seth taught me more than he knows by writing opening matches in ACW and nbW. I would advise almost anyone to study his matches and learn a thing or ten.

Read this days ago, and it reads just as well tonight as it did then. As Scott pointed out, Hector made some adjustments, and I’d like to see more people do adverts like this. It makes a lot of sense, and we get a little look at a character who I’m a huge fan of in another fed, and one I’m delighted to have here in GLOBAL – as well as the handler, who’s a sweetheart.

Pleased to see Jeremy’s baseball angle on here.

Another great segment featuring Christian Pierson. I just sat back and enjoyed this, and Chris is doing something out of his comfort zone, and embracing it, which is wonderful to see.

That tag match was as enjoyable as Seth’s opener, but for totally different reasons and the dialogue was just glorious.

Prime Time Failure was a success. I know where this is going, but these two are cool and this was the beginning of a nice little angle featuring some of my characters, but this was all Brian and a solid follow-up to an excellent first interview by PTA on 1.

Viral Comedy 2 was a nice little follow-up, though I preferred the first one. Is it funny that this segment felt too short? You be the judge.

AMA – Ask Me Anything. It reminds me of JAG, Seth. This segment cheered me up at a time when I needed it.

I like the Amber Lee character and regret we didn’t write anything together for this show. There were GOOD reasons for that. This match was too short, and I’ll hold my hands up for my part in that.

I thought the dynamic and dialogue in ‘Online Coaching’ was superb, and Pedro has certainly embraced the concept and style.
Chris smartened me up about Pierson v Public beforehand, and I would’ve read it earlier, but it’s clear some people haven’t, even among those who’ve left feedback.
Yes, the result from the moment you see the match is never in doubt, but Pierson in general epitomises a lot of what I envision GLOBAL to be, and certainly what you’re allowed to do as handlers. Straightaway, the level of analysis and the style screams Sherlock-level like intelligence, and a Frank Underwood style. I thought this was terrific, and Chris has achieved something beyond even what I have (in terms of this being my concept/house) in exhibiting GLOBAL for what it can be. Not that everyone has to follow suit, but I’m telling you: You should read this, because even if it’s not going to win Match of the Night and it wasn’t intended to so as soon as you see ‘Joe Public’ in the title, it’s effortlessly the most influential match on either show and arguably even more so than any other segment, too. And the commentators don’t react to anything he does, either. This is superb.
His rant towards Plain Jane is also excellent. Squash match? Check. Masterful in how it played out? Tick.

Viral Comedy 3 keeps things ticking along.

Short but very, very sweet to see The Queen’s Arrival, and I edited that title! Don’t know what happened. Anyway, welcome aboard John and I thoroughly enjoyed that. Everything counted.

You Never Forget Your First – Someone’s having fun. Great to see, and it keeps me entertained while making my mind wander to: What’s down the road?

Pawn to Queen Four is a fantastic segment title, by the way, and the segment was very good in itself. I said this on Domination 1. Despite GLOBAL having a peculiar setup in some ways, there’s room for ‘real’ and this certainly felt like that. I could picture the whole thing and see why these two would wind each other up.

David v Malta was passable, and EZ Rah is someone capable of generating a lot of heat.

Can We? Yes, you can. And, you can also write Gemini in segments like that for as long as you want, until he inevitable starts to blow…or something.

Great showing by Valorie Vitality. It started off hot, ended hot and had a lot of good in it.

Read Darring’s segment before the show went up, and very few write a segment like Brian does. He did a terrific job in selling Daniel Dream as a top guy after just 1 show, and a defeat at that, and played his part in a team effort to establish that. His stuff stands out like a sore thumb, for GOOD reasons, and if you didn’t already know my answer to Brian’s pending podcast question, YES, there’s room for this. Stellar.

Shawn built on what the shit I gave him, rolled with it and ramped things up for a fine finish. Defiant segment to wrap things up. I wouldn’t like to be that Keegan fella, in or out of character. Hang on, I’d better not say things like that in this fed…

That concludes my feedback. For more, you’ll hear me address some points. A quick rundown…

- 1 was better than 2, but 2 wasn’t the 2 I thought it would be – there are 2 references in there. 1 was a better show, and while there are plenty of pleasing aspects, I’m not happy with either of them, quite frankly. So, we’ve all got a personal challenge below.
- Me included – let’s get some entrances in bios and not skip over them, eh?
- Much better on the present and novel stuff this week. But, it bears repeating: PRESENT tense, NOVEL style.
- I apologise for my mistakes as a fedhead. I feel an internal and external pressure to get the show up as quickly as possible, even if people hug deadlines, which they’re entitled to by the way, but WHAT I don’t want is sending segments for my involvement HOURS BEFORE OR EVEN AFTER THE DEADLINE.
-
So far, I’ve let that slide, but you know what they say about (Domination) 3 strikes.

Here’s my challenge for 3 – DEADLINE: JANUARY 7TH.

- Make me call it the best show we’ve had so far, unequivocally. Me included.
- Make multiple people say that, top to bottom, the show had the best matches.
- Take some more risks to establish the GLOBAL concept.
- Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and thank you very much for being her, writing and READING.
Last edited by Keegan on Wed Dec 21, 2022 9:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Daniel Dream
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Re: DOMINATION 02 - Feedback Thread

Post by Daniel Dream »

BEST MATCH:

Valorie Vitality vs Jed Johnson

Valorie Vitality was brutal and her match last show would have been my pick if the main event wasn't so amazing.

Daniel Dream vs Alfie Button is my second pick.


BEST SEGMENT:

The Flames


BEST ANGLE:

The follow up of DOMINATION 1


BEST LINE OF THE NIGHT:

"CHETT! CHETT MARX! DON’T USE MY GOVERNMENT NAME… BOB!"

This made me laugh.


"You gotta SHOW up, to GO up, know what’m sayin’?"

Is also a good line.



ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT:

Some segments are from before or after the past show. I don't have a problem with that but it's a little weird for a match on DOMINATION 2 to happen then immediately cut to another superstar talking about having just won a DOMINATION 1 match without some 'FLASHBACK' transition, I also thought it'd make sense for anything happening after DOMINATION 1 to happen before any of the matches of DOMINATION 2 took place. But that's just my personal preference and it's not a big deal, just seems a little weird to me.
THEHopper
Posts: 85
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2022 1:46 pm

Re: DOMINATION 02 - Feedback Thread

Post by THEHopper »

Hello all!

I basically am writing my initial, knee-jerk reaction feedback as I read through the show....

Tis my usual thing to do, I guess. :)

GOING TO WAR - I like anything Rich family on spec, but I really love when all groundwork is laid for the dynamic within this family. There is no doubt in my mind that at some point "The First" will be at odds with the rest of the brothers, but what do you expect when you are the first and best of a wrestling family?

DREAM ON - I enjoy the set upf or the main event. My only negative in this is that it wouldn't have been a main event to drive ticket sales. You know how we announce a match that will headline to get butts in the seats. But this is where Global seems different. Dream is being built into a solid contender partially with how he is discussed here by men in power positions. He headlined Dom 1 and will not make it 2 in a row. I liked the segment a lot.

SECRET SANTA - I see a placement problem here, but only because it is an in-ring segment that transitions right into a match. When I picture this, I picture a very odd transition of seeing the Master Sisters exiting as the match is being announced. On a grand scale show like this, I'm not sure such things would be seen. I also believe this should have been placed further down int he show for a couple of reasons: 1) the Master Sisters are champions; 2) The Riches appeared in a segment only placed 2 spots above so it is like we have a ton of them and perhaps nothing left to sell the future or for this to be forgotten by show's end. Placement aside, I love how we are setting groundwork for Dom 3 while in Dom 2. Good stuff.

ALECZANDER VS FLANAGAN - I always enjoyed writing Flanagan matches and segments back in SCW. He is just a fun character, and facing the first Global Hall of Famer is amazing LOL I loved that he is boastful. Seth does these kinds of characters well (Big Rick anyone?) and the entire entrance situation was funny as I have done that before a long time ago. The match was what you expect with Flanagan taking the loss, but Aleczander is funny and engaging the entire time. He got to show off and it was a fun read!

DIAMOND CASINO - Once again we get a picture of these mysterious board of directors (yeah, there should be an "of" in between those words) and Daniel Dream is once again currying their favor. This guy has title contention written all over him so far.

OUT OF LINE/BACK IN LINE - We see the Giovanni/VIP saga play out further. This was short and sweet and it moved this story another point forward. Very solid stuff.

THEY'RE NOT THE SON OF GOD - I admit, I read this one a second time to try and garner the time frame....as it is discussing the main event from the LAST show. Without giving some form of timeline reference nor advancing anything truly regarding Dream that helps this week's show. I felt like this was a segment that would have been better played on DOM 1.

BASEBALL ADVERT - It was what it was....I chuckled with it and I like the fact people are doing some adverts to make things interesting. Always a fun change of pace in the show.

THE FLAMES - Keegan is right, this is out of my comfort zone to a degree but hopefully you all enjoyed it.

LAZAR VS MARX & CO - I liked Quinn setting the stage from the jump. This helped me get why this was happening since neither character had appeared in a segment prior to the match at all. "I found out where to grind XP" made me laugh out loud because I'm a gamer and my son and I had just finished playing Ark on PS5 before I read the show. lol I love a big monster in wrestling and Lazar could be a great one as we get started. I also love how the entire thing ends with Aleczander the Great watching backstage....now that could be a fun encounter for sure.

PRIME TIME FAILURE - LOVED THIS! Only because the Health Fanatics were another guilty pleasure for me to write and I always thought of them like Hanz and Franz; but here they are ahead of another team looking to show their dedication and desire to stay on top. This is a fun angle waiting to happen...I can see segments where they do a "gym Decathalon" and compete against each other on certain lifts and exercises. This is gold.

VIRAL COMEDY - Why is there a (2) in the subject? My first thought is I'm shocked Jerry David managed to get this segment on theo show considering he is so tech backward LOL EZ Rah seems jealous of Jerry and angry about his twitter not being recognized or followed. This is a nice connector that should lead to an interesting match at some point.

HAVING A NICE CHAT - "speaking to a man who will be competing later tonight" literally 4 spots after th every match referenced! Placement, folks.....placement. I really think you need to schedule yourself 2 days to put it together post deadline. And Big Aug suggesting a vegan steak was funny to me. This was a fun segment and if the placement was to show that Global can not follow a straight linear timeline, I get it.....but the segment was really good and needed placed earlier.

AMBER VS PRINCIPE - This was not great at all. I'm going to try and be constructive. This match could have used a few things.... 1) entrances, which would have given it more of a feel; 2) more names, nicknames, and etc used for those involved in the match; and perhaps some lines of commentary or even mentions from the participants. Anything to make it more engulfing for the reader. I won't say anything about the handler as I do not know the person at all, but there is a learning curve at work here and I hope that Amber uses this moving forward.

NEW DAY FOR OLD MEN - Son of Malta is with his old cohorts and this is one of those segments I always fear for myself as I always had my main character be my age and surrounded by people of like age....and now that would be pushing 50 lol This segment was short and sweet. Could have been much better to sell these men being around.

BEST LAID PLANS - Another segment from a tag team set in a workout area. That was my only drawback with it and it wasn't the fault of the writer. They couldn't know that other segments would be workout focused. This was a fun segment.

ONLINE COACHING - I know that language is totally fine here, but it seemed gratuitous in this segment to me. In a sort of detracting way. Hayley will probably be hungry for that buffet after what the coach has in store.

PIERSON VS PUBLIC - Very outside my comfort zone in many ways when it comes to match writing. Hope it fit the idea of Global.

HOUND DOG ADVERT - President or not....this is the greatest dog shampoo in history. The absolute best without a doubt.

VIRAL COMEDY (3) - Now I think there is a missing part with 2 and 3 both being aired. These two are so totally opposite it is funny. Could be a fun angle.

THE QUEENS ARRIVAL - Bianca is mad that she isn't received with all sorts of fanfare. I liked the segment to sell her arrogance. I'm hoping this leads to some great heel heat for her as she moves forward.

YOU NEVER FORGET YOUR FIRST - I really never thought I would hate the sound of a woman saying Papi in my head, but as I read this, that is what happens. That is not to say this is a bad segment as that phrase may have been intended to grate the reader. Vitality is an interesting character that I feel has been created far too undersized for what Global is intended....but this segment was solid and it had me reacting, which is the point.

PAWN TO QUEEN 4 - Bianca at it again. I love the moxey of this character. "How you gonna be Main Event if you ain’t never fight? Y’feel me? You gotta SHOW up, to GO up, know what’m sayin’?” is my favorite line of this promo. I really like the character and the attitude. I hope that she gets to play off someone who can match it to raise both of their games.

DAVID VS SON OF MALTA - It's on now. I hate that Malta is secondary in a match that he is not only involved in, but is victorious within....but he is. The EZ-Rah/Jerry David issues go to the next level as now EZ has cost Jerry a match. That angle is looking good with a solid start and Son of Malta may be the quietest 2-0 in e-w history.

POLITICAL PARTY ADVERT - parody is funny and this had me chuckling as I read it. Good stuff here.

CAN WE? - I wrote this and just wanted to have a little fun here.

JED VS VITALITY - Not a fan of this. Vitality has nothing in her biography that shows she can be in a wrestling ring with people with years of experience, let alone do what she was allowed to do to Jed Johnson. A former gymnast that is barely 126 lbs can become as "ruthless" as she wants when she gets angry, but there is a lack of strength and size to overwhelm anybody that has a size advantage, man or woman, if they have experience in the ring....which she doesn't. I would have had this character be shown as a legit newcomer and maybe even taken a few losses early to show growth....maybe even run a mikey whipwreck style of gimmick where eventually a champion can be born out of someone who is learning the industry.

LEGENDARY NIGHT - I like the non-linear approach as it was set up obviously post Dom 1. Darring is one of my favorite Brian Bell characters and this is why. He is dangerous in the ring, can play face or heel, and always is able to elevate those he works with. This had all of that, including a nod to the entire roster. Good stuff.

TEAM UNITED VS TEAM UK - No entrances. I don't know if it was to make sure it wasn't as long as it could have been or if it was just for other reasons. Lots of action and back and forth. Solid 6-man tag match and I like the way it kept moving. Might be worth considering to have a trios style title or something.

2 MASKED GEEZERS - Alfie is out to be interviewed and it kind of gets hijacked by Crusader X (still think that name is a juxtaposition on the attitude of the character and it throws me off). There is no doubt that X and Alfie are on a course to face off. If not, then should be.

EVOLVE OR DIE - PLACEMENT!!! Davey Boy calls for a microphone as if right after their match has ended....but some how the alfie segment is between them. Daveyboy cuts a nice promo, but it was all hampered by the placement issue, which had me away from the ring in my head and I had to go back and connect the two.

MAIN EVENT: BUTTON VS DREAM - Match was so easy to read thanks to the spaces. (LOL) This match had a ton of action and flowed well. Daniel Dream now looks like the real deal as he took Darring to the brink and took down Alfie. the only drawback for me was the way the moves were inserted. It was literally like they were cut and past from the bio with description in (). That can be spelled out better than that, even if it takes up more space. Other than that I really liked the main event.

HOME ALONE - Two important takeaways here....one...timeframes mean nothing in Global. You can be watching the show you wrestled on because of the way it is produced. and two...

ALEX FREAKING REYN

And that means business is picking up in Global. This was a great cliffhanger-esque final segment and really a hype machine for heading into Dom 3



OVERALL THOUGHTS...

Top to bottom, this was not a better show than Dom 1. It was not a terrible show either. I think it was a solid 6-6.25.

I felt like a couple of the matches missed due to entrances and etc.

To me Jerry David vs EZ Rah is on solid simmer....

Lazar vs Aleczander is also something I'm excited about....

and the toip of the card got deeper as Dream got a good win and Alex Reyn showed his face.

The next show will start clearing up things and perhaps have more surprises as the season progresses. I like where we are and hope others are ready to read and write for Global to hit a even better level on Dom 3.

Good stuff folks!
Jerry David
Site Admin
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Re: DOMINATION 02 - Feedback Thread

Post by Jerry David »

Best Laid Plans:
I struggled last week with the same thing for these two... The dialogue. I feel like they're supposed to be posh Brits, but their dialogue isn't quite hitting the mark.

Online Coaching:
I have not got a fucking clue who is speaking in this, or what they're talking about. Could be omitted from the show and nobody would notice honestly, because nobody knows who this is even related to.

Advertisement:
Brilliant

Viral Comedy (3)
Brilliant

The Queens Arrival?:
Not the best. For example, "A long black stretch limo appears, parking right in front of the parking lot, as the only one standing there is a geeky-looking man in a tacky suit." the man in the suit and the car pulling up are completely unrelated, and certainly aren't part of the same sentence. "Right outside soon, the windows move down as the head of the newest signing to Global pops out," - the word soon is superfluous. "pops out" ends the sentence, so should be a full stop not a comma. I think this just wanted a read over/edit before submitting, which is a shame as it could have been a half decent, if not pretty generic, introductory segment for a new character.

You Never Forget Your First:
I think "Papi" was overused. Loved the mild anarchy in this though, although I'm not really sure what this segment achieves?

Pawn to Queen Four:
I'm not sure why the fans instantly boo someone I'm not familiar with, without the character first showing the audience they're heel? Sorry if I missed something here. I get King Booker vibes from the character. Some good back and forth, though between the two characters. Enjoyed the segment on the whole.

Jerry David Vs SoM
A work of art.

Advertisement:
Award winner, surely.

Can We?:
Okay, Chris. Very funny you cunt. (Great punchline at the end).

Jed Johnson Vs Valorie Vitality
Thank you for listening to feedback from last week and applying it. Not everyone is able to. Much better.

A Legendary Night:
I was confused at first: How has it has been a historic night for GLOBAL? Did I miss the Main event? Ah, it's from Domination 1. Just needed a tag line at the start saying "After Domination 01 went off air" or something. No big deal, though. I've never seen an entire arena nod in agreement before, so that's a new one. I suppose this segment is aimed at building Darring as a legacy wrestler, here to pass the torch at some stage down the line and then, I assume, retire? I don't know. Again, I suppose we'll have to see. Well written with the exception of the brief confusion it caused me at the start.

Two Masked Geezers:
I cannot understand a word out of this mans mouth and it's hilarious. Anyway... Crusader X is introduced as X, then as Crusader, then finally Crusader X. Crusader X's voice is nothing like you'd expect going off the name and I had to go a look at the bio to get an idea on who the character actually is. This character will need some development, as at the moment he's a man in a mask and not much else. Plenty of time for that, though.

Evolve or Die:
The intro makes no sense. He calls for a microphone, but where is he? In the ring? Backstage? On a farm? I've got no idea. Why is he mad at Keegan? Keegan hasn't even appeared on this show has he? Confusion is added when a strew of unnamed bodies are lying outside the ring. We missed all that action. And on a wrestling show! I also wish people would stop mentioning closed efeds (personal preference). Davey releases someone. Who? He never had hold of anyone. Wait, now Best of British are suddenly standing there. This was poor.

Home Alone:
Hello Alex Reyn.
E Z Rah
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Joined: Thu Dec 01, 2022 11:53 am

Re: DOMINATION 02 - Feedback Thread

Post by E Z Rah »

Another good show imo. I will echo some previous statements that some segments didn’t feel like they achieved much or pushed forward a narrative in a meaningful way. As with show one, I felt a bit out of the loop as I don’t have any knowledge of prior feds or characters so some moments lost their impact.

We’re definitely starting to get some real stand out characters and the pieces are starting to come together nicely for some ongoing feuds.
User avatar
Legend
Posts: 134
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Re: DOMINATION 02 - Feedback Thread

Post by Legend »

GOING TO WAR: The Rich Family are good characters; I was glad to see them and starting to set the foundation for some future stories. Since this is a wrestling show and not a sitcom, I go into it knowing I will probably get a teaser into future story-building.

DREAM ON: I like that we are building off the push Dream got from the first show and his showing. He cemented himself as a top player after the first show going into show two. Having him follow up here is a nice touch.

SECRET SANTA: I like a well-timed themed segment, and with Christmas coming up just a few days after this show, this hit with me. Could it have been placed later in the show, as Hopper suggested? Yes, I think so. However, when you pick your segment early, and there isn’t much moving around to fit the show later, things like that are bound to happen. Either way, the segment was quality work, and I dug it.

ALECZANDER THE GREAT VS FLANAGAN: Another strong showing for the Hall of Famer. I am still getting used to the match style here, but this was pretty cut and dry as Aleczander was put over strong and looked like a top-tier character in GLOBAL, which he should be. Back-to-back strong showings by the character. Well done.

THE DIAMOND CASINO: I liked the work - it was short but sweet as we continue to learn about the character (or at least I do.) If I have any small suggestion - it’s a layout to the fed - We just had a segment (DREAM ON) a few ago where we talked about Dream. Moving this one down to bring up Dream throughout the night could have worked better for the show layout. However, that is just a tiny suggestion. It still works and does its job the way it is, though.

OUT OF LINE … OR BACK IN LINE: Short and sweet, but has a point. No complaints - easy to read, and looking forward to more here.

THEY’RE NOT THE SON OF GOD: I am not sure of this purpose yet. I was a bit confused about the placing and why it was a segment for DOM 1. Maybe this will make sense later. I may need to re-read it again.

ADVERTISEMENT: I let the cat out of the bag last show - I am not a fan of advertisements, but they can be fun. This one has some purpose, as it’s pimping another project I can get behind.

THE FLAMES: I like Christian Pierson and the gimmick quite a bit. I think it has a lot of promise, and I enjoy seeing Chris do something different and making it work so damn well.

AUGUST LAZAR vs. CHETT MARX & FRIEND: A second squash this early feels a little off. Dom, isn’t WCW Thunder or AEW Rampage? Where are the competitive matches? Maybe, I am missing something with that. But, back to the character building for Lazar, I thought it was fine.

PRIME TIME FAILURE: When writing this, I wasn’t sure how much I liked it or how it would go over. I know this is a cycle-long story that was kicked off with a teaser. So obviously, there is more in the bag here, but a lot of the time, these can be an eye-of-the-beholder type thing, and I wasn’t sure if I was writing it to entertain myself. I see it missed with Scott and perhaps others.

VIRAL COMEDY 2: I like Jerry David's chemistry and EZ Rah's chemistry. It’s a different feud than anything else that is going on, which is a good thing. It’s a small segment that is leading up to more.

HAVING A NICE CHAT: This is another placement issue for me. I think one thing I’d try to work on is the placement of segments. Too many of them would work in different spots, and this one is for sure. Outside, the obvious, though - Aug has a lot of potential and is a pretty fun character I have high hopes for.

AMBER LEE VS EL PRINCIPE: Another small squash match. Match-wise, this show hasn’t done much for me - it has a WCW Thunder feel for me for sure - for a second show, I’d have liked to see things a bit more competitive.. But, a big win for Amber - El Principe is a fun character.

A NEW DAY FOR OLD MEN: A small segment for Malta. I know he is an excellent solid veteran-type character. I want to see more from him; hopefully, it’s building for more.

BEST LAID PLANS: Solid character work, and it looks like GLOBAL has some good tag teams. My apologies to the writer for taking some of the steam out of the RP by using a similar setting earlier! However, we are on a wrestling show, and seeing teams staying in shape isn’t the worst setting we could be redundant in. 🙂

ONLINE COACHING: Well-written content that builds the character. It’s a style I am not used to, and I appreciate this type of RP that challenges me. Well done.

CHRISTIAN PIERSON VS JOE PUBLIC: Okay, I will not beat a dead horse. I see a trend with the matches here, which must be intentional. The match was a quick squash that put Pierson over, and it did its job. I was happy to see Pierson in action; he was about how I expected him to be: dangerous.

HOUND DOG ADVERT: It was well written.

VIRAL COMEDY 3: More angle work between Davis and EZ…

THE QUEEN'S ARRIVAL: Short segment that fits the character or what I assume of the character I should say well.


YOU NEVER FORGET YOUR FIRST: More quality story writing - I am warming up to these segments, and as I mentioned earlier, I like segments that challenge me. This did its job.

PAWN TO QUEEN FOUR: More of the Queen and some promo work delivered here. I dug it and want to see more from the character.

JERRY DAVID VS SON OF MALTA: This is the first match; I feel reading it isn’t a squash or obvious result match. I guess it had a purpose; it felt short on the small side, primarily since I built myself up for a competitive match. I know both characters are solid characters and deserved the limelight in a match - but the purpose was to further the David E Z feud. So, I guess it accomplished its result. I just felt down because there hasn’t been what I’d consider a wrestling match up to this point. So, I am looking forward to an actual quality match here.

POLITICAL PARTY ADVERT: Funny.

CAN WE: hehehe… I am glad we are bringing such an essential matter to the boss! I dug it, even if it had some inside jokes here.

JED JOHNSON VS VALORIE VITALITY: It Felt like the most competitive match of the show thus far. So that made it feel like a big win for Vitality.

A LEGENDARY NIGHT: I wrote this with guidance from Keegan on what he wanted and the task of selling Dom 1, Dream, and GLOBAL. It was meant to be backstage with a smaller gathering documenting a historic night/moment in GLOBAL’s short history thus far for later use. I am not sure if that point got through, especially since Scott thought the whole arena nodded, which is not the case! Either way, I hope it did its job. Face-sell jobs don’t always hit with audiences.

TEAM UNITED vs THE UNITED KINGDOM: Some good back and forth - being exhausted a bit on quick squash-type matches, this was a breath of fresh hair. Enjoyed the match.

TWO MASKED GEEZERS AND … HEEERE’S ALFIE: Alfie sells the match for later tonight; I felt this was well placed because it’s been a while since we had all those Dream segments earlier and with all the segments, advertisements, and squashes since then I have almost forgotten we have Alfie vs Dream after. Alfie pulls me back in.

EVOLVE OR DIE: Good segment, but I remember some of the Keegan/Davey stuff in SCW, so it resonates with me.

MAIN EVENT - ALFIE BUTTON V DANIEL DREAM: Spacing seemed off compared to the rest of the show. I like when matches are uninformed, but that is a minor squabble. This match was the easiest to read due to its style. The spaces were manageable - A solid main event that followed last week's great main event. Dream is looking like a top guy, and Alfie looks strong. Two good main events and is my most fun read of the show. I like well-done matches, so good job to the writer. It sort of saved the night in wrestling matches/competitions for me.

HOME ALONE: Alex Reyn, it’s about time you joined the party.


OVERALL THOUGHTS:

The Good: The Main Event was good stuff. Some people are starting to stand out for me - off the top of my head.

Dream now has back-to-back good showings.
Aleczander has two shows of solid character-building work, and I want to see what happens with him and Aug.
Queen had a good showing on this show.
Tag Division is looking stacked.
E Z and Jerry have an actual feud brewing.
Christian Pierson is going to be huge eventually.

The writing here is good. All of the segments are darn good. I am enjoying things as I break them down from segment to segment.


A few things that stand out to me that I’d look at - Segment placing is sometimes confusing. Match competitiveness really looks weak overall on the show. I get characters to need to be built, and match writing can be a bear. This is a wrestling efed, though, no? We need a few matches at the least that come across as competitive.

However, for a young fed, it’s a solid second show. The first was a bit better, but I don’t think there is any reason to feel down, Keegan.

As always - thanks to everyone for their hard work. I enjoyed the show and looking forward to seeing what everyone brings on DOM 3.
Handle: "The Legend" Sean Darring & Prime Time Athletes
pdbnb
Posts: 222
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2022 10:05 pm

Re: DOMINATION 02 - Feedback Thread

Post by pdbnb »

PRELIMINARY THOUGHTS:

- I apologise for any confusion caused by my segments, or the feeling they 'accomplish nothing'. This might come from me thinking of this in terms of a TV show, where oftentimes scenes do nothing but introduce you to characters who will be important later (You Never Forget Your First) or show snippets of everyday life for characters you already know (Best Laid Plans), That said, MY BAD for forgetting that with real TV shows, you get the visual medium to tell you who that character is, so even if you don't know their name, you know it's 'that blonde girl from last episode'.

Which leads me to...

- Some of us appear to have embraced this concept TOO well (points at self) while others appear to be struggling to get out of the traditional efed mindset (which, fair enough, after literal DECADES of associating 'an efed show' with a certain set of tropes and expectations, it can be hard to fully embrace something new right away.) These are growing pains which I am confident will go away over time - and I can say I am very happy to see more people making use of the off-site option to enact character development. A couple of those segs were my favourites last time, and this time as well.

MORE FEEDBACK TO BE INSERTED HERE - STAY TUNED!
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