DOMINATION 08 - Feedback Thread

[Jerry David]

Hi Everyone,

Feedback on show 8 is welcome in all formats, but here are some prompts for you if you aren't sure:

BEST MATCH:
BEST SEGMENT:
BEST ANGLE:
BEST LINE OF THE NIGHT:
ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT:

We understand it's a BIG show, so some of you might not get to read it all. That's understandable. But please leave feedback on what you DID read here!

Sign-up's for show 9 is also up on the relevant forum!

REMEMBER: NO SIGN UP, NO GO!

Cheers,
sc00t

[Jerry David]

A Mere Mortal: Punctuation is shit. Written in fucking SCRIPT half the time. Skipped over it after line 8. Pick it up, this is fucking embarassing.

Mirror, Mirror: Mine, and John writes fuck all, has no ideas, is dead weight. Needs to go.

A Special Moment, 1: Haha, ouch! Made me laugh out loud.

TR Vs. The Players: Too long. Otherwise fine.

The Search Continues: Another beach, eh? Maybe this guy is a naturist? Anyway, we will see where this goes. I'm intrigued...

No Case: There are some grammatical issues here but otherwise all good and moves the story along.

Concern?: Kyle is a great writer, but can suck a bag of dicks.

Rich Family Saviors: Some issues. Here's a great example:

The UK fans give them the universal #1 salute or the thumbs down. Outsteps the most arrogant and egotistical duo in GLOBAL.

- "salute, or the thumbs down" would be correct
- "Out steps", not outsteps

There is a lot of "name asks/says/questions, "speech" " format. Became repetitive.

Just basic issues really, but took away from the segment for me.

Also, too long.

Guilty by Inaction: Written well, handler refuses to reserve segments, post on the forum unless its a one hour podcast about a show we did 8 weeks ago, and can't even submit segments correctly. Moving on...

Amber Lee Vs. Darren Best: Amber's handler: won't submit segments backstage, can't log in backstage, has other people write all the matches and segments, has no ideas for angles, no memory of anything going on with her character, doesn't read the shows, doesn't contribute to the chat (happy Easter excluded) and I can't waste another second of my life on earth dealing with this person. Skipped.

A Special Moment: 2: After the first, I was excited to see a second. I wasn't disappointed.

A Planned Hike: At almost 4,000 words this is ridiculously long. Unnecessary, really. Then there are some dashes ---- and I've lost track.

Return of the Jed-I: Valorie isn't believable.

Cracking: Mine

I Don't Understand You: Handed in last minute which bothers me when we have a 2 week deadline.

The Legend Prepares...: Tees up the main event, closes a door. Good stuff.

Comatose Conversation 3: Love the movement of this angle. Shows what can be done using the GLOBAL model where not everything needs to be "within wrestling" and I hope this angle stretches things as far as possible. I'd love to see Chris open a segment with something other than "the scene opens...", though.

Alfie Vs. Declan: I will read and feedback nothing that includes this handler. Skipped.

A Trip Home: I will read and feedback nothing that may possibly include that lazy piece of shit April. Skipped.

A Special Moment, 3: MORE? Wow, how much can we take of this? (lots. It's great!) - This has been a great series. Very funny.

Rah/Alf: I'm amazing.

New Kids on the Block: Grammar, bad. No names for most of the segment. The imagery isn't done very well here. Room for improvement, definitely room for thought - the writer knows the characters but the reader doesn't. Set the scene, describe people, surroundings, etc. In fact, where is this even set? Backstage, it says. Where? What's around..?

Something's Missing: Handed in last minute which bothers me when we have a 2 week deadline.

Death: Why this person keeps sending burrito wraps with segments written on them to the email address I used as a teenager, I'll never understand.

I Guess We'll Never Know: Mysterious opening. Well written. I always enjoy Hector's contributions. I wish he'd give us more content each show.

Main Event: When I was adding this to the show, my 6 year old daughter came down from bed. She asked who Darring was, and if he was different to Darrig, she asked why sentences didn't end with full stops, she wanted to know why everything had an exclamation mark and if someone was angry, and if she's asking those questions at age 6, skimming over a brief area of this match, can you be proud of your work? This was dog shit and I'll say no more. I only read the bits my daughter read. The rest, I'm not wasting my time on. Utterly embarrassing.

PS: Who the fuck is the WAll? Do you mean Wall? FFS man.

----

The Good: Chris's work was his best yet. Brian holds his own and picked up some slack in Keegan's absence well. Pedro managed to write shitloads despite travelling the world.

The Bad: You're in a writing hobby. Focus on spelling and grammar as a minimum. Even moreso whether it's script or novel style.

The Ugly: Why Amber is still in this efed is absolutely fucking beyond me. Why we have someone writing main events who can't be bothered to follow basic submission guidelines is beyond me. Why we have people in this fed who won't even read this feedback, let alone give any, is beyond me. This is the worst show we've had, and it is entirely down to the dead weight people like Brian, Pedro, Chris and Keegan carry every fortnight.

People can't be arsed writing. It's clear as day. I work 2 jobs, have 2 kids, and I have a wedding (it's my wedding) at the end of the month. Am I riding a deadline? No. I'm not. But other people post in the chat their opinions on absolute bullshit day and night then hit deadline within minutes. You aren't short on time, you're short on motivation. If you wanna be involved, write. Don't be so disrespectful. I'm sick of the bullshit from this roster. If you aren't DM'ing Keegan about what an awful person I am, or asking him to PLEASE PLEASE JUST WRITE ALL MY STUFF FOR ME, you're fuckin' late, and I'm sick of it. Time for several people to go. I am embarrassed to be part of this hobby today.

[Daniel Dream]

BEST MATCH: Trouble Roxx vs The Players

I like Trouble Roxx.
I like The Players.

I really liked this match.

Seem like The Players are still struggling to find success. I'm sure that'll change sooner or later.

BEST SEGMENT: A Special Moment #1

A lot of good segments.
A lot of great segments from Gemini so I'll just pick the first segment by Gemini.

BEST ANGLE: Special Moments
Gemini is trying to win my unofficial Best Heel Award from John J. Truth and does a good job.

BEST LINE OF THE NIGHT: "Best goes back to the hammerlock, which he has had some success with as a gateway hold, and he’ll be hopeful of using it as a key to unlock Lee’s door, ahem, and achieve his first victory this evening on English soil, GLOBAL’s first foray overseas since opening at the back end of 2022."

Phrasing.

ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT: Just minor typos.

[pdbnb]

Scott, you skipped over the Truth segment. Also the Tag Title match.

Feedback to come. Still reading.

[THEHopper]

A MERE MORTAL - I get where this was going and supposed to go, but Reyn fell flat to me here and even Darring's sell attempt was a tad off. It wasn't bad, but Darring carried this segment and Alex didn't even come across on the same level, which was disappointing. I also want to point out that this was in script format here and there and even if it was perhaps the way you formed it together as you worked on it....one of you needed to edit this to the correct form before sending it in.

FAKE NEWS - Funny stuff with Truth and the boys arriving in England. This was a fun segment. Not the best Truth work I have ever read, but it brings about that he is bringing his special point of view everywhere. I'm also wondering why Lincoln is getting this treatment...I remember them being more brooding lap dogs of Lexi. Anyway this was a solid segment and Truth has been interesting for sure.

MIRROR, MIRROR - Another segment with Bianca and The Jester. I realize that this is supposed to make her go crazy or something, but overall I am growing weary of the angle. What is the payoff going to be? Jester vs Bianca? We don't even know if Jester is actually a wrestler. Too much has been cut and paste in this....Bianca is somewhere...Jester appears and makes her crazy and then he disappears as she overreacts to what he says and etc. Rinse, repeat. Is this going somewhere?

WELCOME TO MANCHESTER - I really wish these were one of the first segments we get....first or second. It does a good job of setting the night up and etc. The entire point of global was that segments didn't HAVE to be in any form of chronological order. I always like these kickoff segments.

SPECIAL MOMENT TAKE 1 - I admit I had fun writing all 3 of these. Hope they are enjoyed.

ROXX VS PLAYERS - Prime Time Players is the name of the team I believe. If you use people's characters, bill them correctly. The commentary on this match was strange, abbreviated at times. Deltzer used phrases that seemed too young for him at times....but I may feel different after a reread or something. Roxx I think are better suited as a hype team/interview team with their streams rather than a match like this...and their gimmick if they do wrestler should include a live stream of the match....and a switch to show the stream as the match is ongoing (think Logan Paul video streaming his plancha and etc). To me that is what this was missing....playing to the actual gimmick of the team.

SEACH CONTINUES - I think this is a funny thing to do and hopefully people catch what is happening. That being said I think I could have done better with this and will try to next episode.

NO CASE - This was a fun segment that actually furthered the Rich family issues with Reyn and , honestly, security as a whole. I liked how the Law was tied in as wellas the boss. The Rich Family are truly an untapped resource that shoudl be allowed to really bloom.

CONCERN - I read this twice because my first reaction was EZ Rah is channeling B-Rabbitt from 8-mail with his buddy Chudders and working near heavy machinery. lol After second read, it again shows that Rah is willing to go after David regardless of what it could truly cost him. That is some prime hate right there, folks. Nice segment.

RICH FAMILY SAVIORS - RIP Rich Family shirts. LOL That was hilarious to me. This entire segment (match?) was hilarious because it allows PTA to further their jerkish nature at the Rich's expense and if the Rich's don't fire back and be as angry as possible about everything, then something is wrong. Probalem is....Riches are going to Giovanni about Reyn and seemingly ignoring PTA's antics....get them focused on something that matters to them and let Freddie return fast. Gemini proved Reyn's bark is worse than his bite....so can Freddie because PTA deserves a beating.

GUILTY BY INACTION - Why? Yes, there is history here and yes, it seems that we are potentially entering the Alex Reyn plothole redemption tour yet again. Why should Darren Best give a good flying Shae about what Reyn thinks about what is happening with Best when it comes to Alfie, Crusader X, etc? WHY is Reyn even discussing this when he is a semifinalist for the contender tournament (EZ Rah should be some focus...heck, even Daniel Dream and Big Aug could be a discussion since they are on the other side of the draw). All this does is take away from what SHOULD be the focus of the character and it hurts the storylines he *IS* involved with. It muddies the waters in a bad way.

BEST VS AMBER - I hate seeing this. Darren Best, a good character that has layers of potential storylines being used as fodder for a character whose only REAL trait is that she latched onto Alfie. The match action was perfectly good and well, but after everything that was said before this, why didn't we see that have some payoff in this match? And when it was over "Alfie can't run without Amber" that was not a line that ought to be spoken by an announcer that supposedly does her homework even if it was in jest. Alfie has been a title contender in multiple federations and Amber is a half-conceived character whose ony redemming trait is that she is 6'2"

SPECIAL MOMENT TAKE 2 - Had way too much fun.

A PLANNED HIKE - This segment was WAAAAYYYYYYY too long. The inclusion of Aleczander was ok for what it was but disappointing because there was no selling the fact he was supposed to accept the challenge from Darring. Pretty sure that so far this is his only appearance, and I'm hoping he shows up later, but I'm fearful.

RETURN OF THE JED-I - Oh for Shae's sake this is gettikng nuts. Jed returns just to end up getting punked by tiny little Valorie Vitality? Once again, I state the fact that this character is not a character that feel legit in any way regardless of how many time syou have her "save the day" in a manner that is wholly unrealistic. If thje handler actually gave feedback (and no, I'm not listening to a 75 minute podcast on a show that happened a month or longer ago just for proof she is part of the feedback) and if the character actually had promos that didn't involve attacking Jed (I believe that was the last legit segment where she talked....every other appearance has been a sneak attack to save the day with no words really from her). Either develop the character or walk away.

CRACKING - Straight forward hatred. I love Jerry David's quick statement and this match gets more fire with something so fast and short. This is gold Jerry...Gold!

DREAM VS BIG AUG - I wrote th ematch and hope I did it justice, especially since with Seth leaving the result was not exactly a shock.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU - So Amber i snow Alfie's manager/director or something. This is leading to an epic 4 person meltdown somehow and I still hate that even when Alfie is not ont he screem the ONLY thing Amber can truly discuss is Alfie.

LEGEND PREPARES - I love the sell job here covering for things to make the angle work even when the handler (who has given permission for his characters to be used to fulfill commitments to angles after his exit) is not involved. Aleczander won't be at Manchester even thought we saw him on a flight heading to Manchester earlier in the show with a team that we know is appearing. That is unfortunate, but also could be foreshadowing. I always love Darring's sell work and this is another reason he is the champ.

COMATOSE CONVERSATION 3 - This was one to set up my next episode, so it felt middling to me...but Manny is going to Manny.

BUTTON VS DECLAN - Declan takes the loss, which isn't surprising even if he may be the most promising Rich brother. Alfie looked strong and that is a good thing. The best part of the entrances was Amber exiting LOL Alfie is so much stronger when he isn't carrying other characters. However Amber on commentary might have made this one more interesting and perhaps gave her a chance to show more personality than she has to date.

A TRIP HOME - I literally for a second thought Valorie Vitality was Alfie's Mom. LOL This wasn't a terrible segment far as the essential content and actually gave a lifting of the veil for this relationship or what not. My hope is that this is NOT a long term pairing as both would be better apart, I truly believe that. My biggest gripe here is that Alfie doesn't sound like Alfie! Not a single bit of that accent that we know and love from him. That accent is what makes Alfie....Alfie. What could have been a great segment was marred by Alfie's accent not being included. If you are teaming with someone and you can't adequately write their character....then do the work when they are able to do it and don't wait until they are out on holiday.

A SPECIAL MOMENT TAKE 3 - Each one was progressively worse in my head. but they made me laugh as I typed.

RAH VS ALF - Alf Alferson is the greatest opportunist in wrestling history. I think Sean darring better be careful with any open challenges because Alf just may be a dark horse to swipe that strap.

NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK - TONY "SHAEING" SWEAT!!! That is what I'm talking about! This team is already better than half our tag roster and they just showed up! Sweaty Bros before Hoes. LOL This is goign to be comedy gold.

SOMETHING'S MISSING - I really liked this. I liked X is upset at not being in the tournament. I liked that X has focused himself seemingly on Amber. And I really hope he goes over at the PPV. This was a really good segment.

DEATH - I don't know what is worse. That I loved the segment or that I laughed because the old woman dies in frotn of her grandchild. I'm feeling a little odd, as you can tell. Fun segment really with a ton of story. It seemed as if it was goign to be a Doritoes segment witht he setup and he never is shown....unless he is the angel of death. Oh My that would be interesting.

MASTER SISTERS VS BEST OF BRITISH - Meh. This seemed rushed to get this out there. No actual match it seems and that is a disappointment.

GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW - The Carnivore, fresh from eating out wrestlers (that will live forever Keegan) accept shis conference title and spot in the contender final at Gold Rush. Good segment from Dream and maybe could have had a little more bragging from Dream, but it worked all the same. Solid.

DARRING VS GREAT WALL - First of all...it is SEAN Darring and not SHAUN. Also....in Global he is billed as The Great Wall and not simply The Wall. I realize you have seen him in the past elsewhere, but always pay attention to how people are billed where you are at now. This is not the first time we saw this with misnamed characters on the segment titles. This match was not the best mainevent Shae has ever written and part of that could be the lumbering style of The Great Wall. I hate that the recovery work on the Great Wall led to this loss, but I get it with everything going on. Darring looks solid in winning, proves he can beat big men, and closes the "what did Xiang get in return" plot hole as well. Solid stuff and Aleczander showin gup at the end is a great hype piece for the Gold Rush main event.

FINALE - Was there supposed to be something here? All we are getting is the stock words that websites fill stuff in with.


====================
OVERALL THOUGHTS
====================

This was nowhere near the potential Global truly has.

On a 10-point scale, I give this show a solid 5-5.5.

There was solid comedy work on the show.

EZ/David continues to use hatred to carry things well

Darring is our best draw and again sold his butt off.

Aleczander showing up helped save the main event


The bad...

There was plenty and I'm not adding to what I wrote in my piece by piece feedback because I don;'t think piling on is worth it.

We have characters that need to do better in getting their angles across and selling what they are doing.


There is potential here and we do have some angles that are doing well. People stepping away hurt some high level storylines and a few people did phone it in this show.

This next show is the go home show....so let's really kick in and do some good work!

[Jerry David]

The typo on Shaun/Sean is my bad. As is that finale thing being left in. I’ve already sorted the main event title out but I’ll get rid of that finale segment when I get chance. Sorry guys.

[Legend]

My apologies, as I am not doing my usual segment-by-segment feedback for this show. I read it last night as word started to get out about the show, and I didn't add feedback. After reading it and conversing, my motivation to return and do so isn't there.


MY Stuff:
- The Reyn and LSD opener: When collaborating with Shae, I wrote mine in the script to make it obvious who's part is who. I will share some blame for not returning and fixing that. It did seem off reading it on the show.
- The PTA Segment/match: More shenanigans and disrespect to further rile the Rich Family up, which started on the first show. I didn't account that Declan would be there and not sell us. In hindsight, it fell flat. The story needs some help going into the go-home show, for sure.
- LSD segment, I checked and checked on the plans and outline on the show before writing this segment and placing it. There was supposed to be an Alecsander segment earlier in the show to help further sell this and the main event situation. There were some issues, and it didn't arrive, which hurt the segment and, later, the main event. The story is limping to the finish line.
- Sweaty Bros: A combo Dro and I have wanted to do for quite some time. I had fun with it. I guess it's going to get a mixed bag of reactions. We'll see how it goes. Maybe, it needs to be scrapped, and it's just good in my head.


The Good:
- Enjoyed the FTK segments. They are quickly rising to not only one of my favorite tag teams but acts in the whole league.
- The Naked Man!
- David's & Rah's story continues to a model story.
- Dream had a good segment. I concur with Scott. I would like to see more Dream.



The Not-So-Good:
- Missed Segments. There are some missed segments or rushed segments that were needed.
- Edits were needed. The structure felt off compared to the shows in the past.
- The Main Event and Global Challenge felt flat - the ending felt rushed, and the arrival of Alecsander did not feel big, and part of that may have been the build-up to that moment also.
- Titles on the show (both Tag and Global) felt like props.
- Some stories are not clicking or have conflicting side stories affecting the story, mine included.
- There are some grammar & style mistakes (some glaring, some minor). But, honestly, there is so much more to focus on. I added that at the end because it seems to be a popular topic around these parts.
- Finale? I am curious how the show was supposed to end. The show felt to end flat, and maybe because it felt like there was supposed to be more, but we didn't get it?



Overall Thoughts:

Most of the fed will agree this wasn't the best show we have put out. Did it suffer because Keegan wasn't there to organize and edit it? I don't know. We will have to ask him. Some segments were needed. Edits were needed—a lot of disorganization. The show didn't flow at all. It felt like segments were just pasted in and posted.

Quality over quantity... Quality over quantity... Quality over quantity. I want to stay on schedule and get a show out, but sometimes we need to pull back and ensure that what we are sending out is indeed a quality show. This seems to be one of those times.

I know there are a lot of discussions around - handlers who are late, handlers who need more fedhead assistance, and grammar mistakes. While I have my opinions on each individually - in the end, it's about setting expectations. If things have been allowed up to this point, why would you expect them to change?

Fedheads like handlers, have to take responsibility for the product. And that starts with not sending something out that isn't complete or edited.

Handlers need to be more respectable on deadlines and take accountability with their stories and product.

In the end, with set expectations, buy-in, and accountability on both sides fedheads and handlers, you will see a more smooth and better product.

But like it or not - the buck stops at the top. Fingers can be pointed, and complaints can be had, but the top-down needs to take pride in the product released on the show.

The good news is this show will move to the archive in a few weeks, and we will move on.

[Keegan]

Thanks for the feedback.

I do take responsibility. If anyone thinks I am proud of this show, then I question whether they know me or not.

By the same token, and if anyone does not like this, I don't care. I'm not going to stay at home for Easter and tell my wife I need to edit a show. Could I have come back and edited it today? Yes. I'll take that. But, I'll take a few days in France over this any day of the week.

I accept I am a shit fedhead.

I accept the show was shit.

I accept that I haven't done enough.

I accept that I need to do more.

My feedback will go up tomorrow.

[Keegan]

And, as far as Scott's feedback, it didn't crush me at all.

This whole arc has been disappointing.

I'll take 100% of the blame for that, too.

Again, though, if you think I'm happy with it, then you don't know me.

Onto 9.

[Legend]

Keegan, and that is fine. But, the vile towards the handler base for it being a horrible show is only as good as the acceptance of the league staff. I wouldn't have cared if you pushed the show off til next week if you needed to. This isn't about you sacrificing your life for the league. Nobody has asked that of you. It's a conversation of if you have plans and the show isn't prepared, perhaps it's better to hold the show back until your life schedule allows for the care the show deserves.

What you said and this is two different expectations and conversations. Anyone who expects what you said would be out of line.