pdbnb wrote: ↑Mon Mar 20, 2023 11:59 am
Thank you for the feedback. I particularly enjoyed the fact that I got the 'zoomer' language down, as I, like Alexander, am one of those 'older millennials' and therefore second-guess myself about what 'kids these days' sound like all the time. Fortunately, I watch a lot of YouTiube... Thank you for making me aware of 'poggers', though... *evil grin*
As for the Truth angle, all I'll say is, there's more to him than a caricature, even if he may be coming across as one right now (which I'll admit to). He IS Firstname Bunchanumbers from Twitter (by design, as unfortunately I have seen a fair bit of their stuff over my tenure on the Twits), but he is also other things. The angle is also going somewhere, hopefully somewhere you enjoy better
Honestly? I'll take your word for it! Considering how your other segments feature a lot of fairly human-feeling characters and strong explorations of them, I was a bit surprised by how flat Truth felt in comparison. I could see his current characterization working a bit better as part of a larger arc that makes him feel like more of an actual person, though. I'll see how he evolves on the coming shows! I apologize if I came off as harsh.
On the topic of addressing criticism, about Crusader X and Alex Reyn both calling people "parasites": X has been using the phrase "parasites" as a central part of his character motivation since the beginning. I don't know if that has been addressed before, but if it has and I don't remember reading it, I apologize. My stance on it is thus: if the Fedheads or Shae (because Reyn is his guy) want me to find another word or phrase, I can. Just let me know. In defense of X's use of the word, though: While I'd forgotten that Reyn had used the word in the past when writing X's bio, some similarities between Reyn and X are... not unintentional on my part. Not in the least. That's all I'll say.
BlairPWO wrote: ↑Mon Mar 20, 2023 8:03 pm
if the Fedheads or Shae (because Reyn is his guy) want me to find another word or phrase, I can.
I do not at ALL mind other people using the word parasite. There's enough contextual difference in how they use the word and who they apply it to that it never feels like a direct copy, and besides. I'm not one of those who subscribes to the "You cannot have any similarities to me or you're stealing my gimmick." This very show Xiang and the Wall pulled a Reyn like "appeared out of nowhere" and that actually made me MORE interested in them to learn they had that kind of ability.
BEST MATCH: Toss up between the main and Metal Militia eight person tag team match. It does seem very shocking to me tl possibly blowing off Reyn/Freddie Rich so quickly, but a statement win nonetheless. Metal Militia look like a lot of fun and was a solid match.
BEST SEGMENT: FTK was great, haha. If this hopefully means a Gemini/Big Kid alliance (I loved "Big Kid" in nbW), LFG.
BEST ANGLE: The "machine" push of Daniel Dream is a pretty fun angle and I'm curoius to know where it's gonna lead to.
BEST LINE OF THE NIGHT: Can't think of a particular line, but Gemini as a walking "fuck them kids" meme is great, haha.
ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT: I won't beat the final segment in the ground and its placement more than it already has. I like a lot of Pedro's characters but I can't say right now that John J. Truth is one. Not a fan at all of any type of slurs being thrown around, bleeped or not and this character would have been fired from TV for the first one let alone a second one. More tag teams is a good thing, but I'm hoping more start to really stand out from the pack as time goes on.
Too little, too late for me this. we've already done another 2 shows worth of writing for my angles so things have already moved on a lot since this show.
I'm also not sitting through 75 minutes of feedback without any kind of timestamps, like I've told you before. Sorry, just don't have the time or patience for it.
