DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Please post all your feedback for the shows here
Jerry David
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DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Post by Jerry David »

Hi Everyone,

Feedback on show 6 is welcome in all formats, but here are some prompts for you if you aren't sure:


We understand it's a BIG show, so some of you might not get to read it all. That's understandable. But please leave feedback on what you DID read here!

Sign-up's for show 7 is also up on the relevant forum!


Posts: 373
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2022 8:52 pm

Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Post by Keegan »

GLOBAL CELEBRATION: A trope it may be, but there’s an expectation on the post-PPV edition of Raw, Dynamite or any real-life wrestling show, you’re going to hear from the newly-crowned champion, right? No surprises for guessing why the first Domination/show outside of The Globe is in Miami, and that’s because of the first champion, and part of the reason why I disagree with the notion of ‘everything that takes place before Domination 6 should come at the start.’ No, for me, the first REAL segment (not the shitty intro I wrote) should be the arrival of the champion.

While writing feedback, I did contemplate whether we should’ve had highlights of the main event as a recap, but you know what? No. I’m fine with that.
As for the segment itself, a grand job by a master at this type of segment, and a great sell job that he’s still bearing the scars of a brutal battle from a fortnight ago. Plus, he sells the task of staying at the top and how there are quite a few capable challengers on the roster, and there’s only one man who can really step out at this stage, isn’t there?

The commentary is on point to sell Aleczander’s arrival, but the fact that he twisted the ‘You Deserve It’ chances to fit himself, because he had wrestled in Miami when starting out? Wow, even by HIS standards, that’s something.

After a lot of spotlight-stealing, an excellent way for Darring to fire back and challenge ATG there and then, and it gives Alecz even more heat, predictable or not, by backing down. Totally different characters, two tremendous handlers and a feud I cannot wait to see myself, even if I paired the two of them together, and this is a very nicely-done start to their pending clash.

AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS: I co-wrote this, but Shae did a fine job with the brawl/commentary at the start, and throughout. I just wanted to acknowledge that. A lot to unpack here, and I hope people enjoyed it. Besides selling the main event, one underlying intention of mine was, without too much overbooking, to show how multiple characters can be involved in a fairly long segment without bloating the show. You be the judge.

THE QUEEN’S BANQUET: A well-written piece which, again, showcases both characters how I view them (for now, at least) and nudges things along without outstaying its welcome. A fine job, and I particularly like The Jester’s rhyme in the middle, even if it reminded me of Doritos’ Tangy Cheese.

FAMILY MATTERS: Given my knowledge of Metal Militia elsewhere, I got a kick out of this segment, and the dialogue between the three makes for another excellent dynamic. Pedro asks me questions via Discord about GLOBAL at times, and I sure picked up on why here. I like the premise of this unit, particularly given their ties, and look forward to seeing where they go. I know people keep saying the GLOBAL Tag Team division is stacked, and I’ve also see one or two comments or thoughts to the contrary. I’m somewhere in the middle. We’re doing well, but it’s close to being in a healthier position, and this could certainly play a part in that.

BIG AUG V SON OF MALTA: A HUGE match, indeed, and Aug’s in the opener again! NOT reflective of his position on the card, might I add. I LOVE whenever Aug comes out. I can picture it, even if sometimes I imagine Vic Gravender in that position too, him looking at the camera and mouthing off to psyche himself up. It’s great. He’s so damn likeable.

A nice little start to showcase the strengths and potential weaknesses in both characters, given who their opponents are. These details are part of the story and selling that Seth is great at, and again, what makes him someone to read, people.

That goes up A NOTCH shortly, but again, Seth emphasises that Big Aug’s size, strength and overall mass are not to be messed with, but SOM’s technique and experience are capable of that, plus he’s brave himself, and that adds to an already-interesting mix and clash of styles.

And, I like how Seth shows Son of Malta doesn’t want to win by count out, and gives a reason why. Just in case anyone reading thought that automatically makes Malta a bad guy, which it doesn’t, Seth takes that reason away.

I like the defiant dialogue by SOM, and the Release German Suplex makes Malta look like a BEAST. Thank you, Seth, for highlighting Malta’s relationship with SVJ and the reason why his Superkick is called ‘Superstar Kick.’ Added kinks, and all that.

Can feel the pace quickening as the match is about to go down the home straight. We’ve got some big moves and some near-falls appearing. A devastating way to finish, Aug looked amazing in recovering from his PPV defeat and SOM looked tough, and like he can come again in the future, which he 100% can. Great way to start the show AND tournament. Thanks again, maestro.

Advert: Are you happy with your smile? Are you? ARE YOU SURE?

The SLAUGHTERHOUSE GYM SERIES: I saw these early doors, and I’m going to group them together. Hector did a good job first and foremost of introducing Jabari Crossover as a rookie wrestler, and there’s something to explore, even in that regard, in his first few matches, such as stringing moves together, hesitating or even forgetting how to put a move on/doing it the wrong way, should Hector desire. Crossover’s an expert analyst, of course, but watching and doing are two different things. I couldn’t go out and headline a wrestling show, no matter how many matches I watch, or cook for a restaurant. You get the idea.

On top of that, I love how Dream is already back in training, a renewed energy and determination to make up for essentially two defeats to Darring, even if the crux of the segments are about Jabari.

And, thank you Hector for including my own Cillian Hall in the segment, and doing a good job with him. Much appreciated.

PRIME TIME CELEBRATION: Typical of this team! One win, and they’ve made it. In fairness, they may just be the top team in the league right now, and it was a fine way of having them do something and appearing on the show without throwing them into something else immediately, even if that was kind of hinted at. A good segment, full of attitude and I like them.

FTK: A terrific segment title to accompany a glorious piece. Gemini is such a dick, even to someone like Blaine, and if anyone’s annoyed by this pairing, well FTK, and blame me. I know a bit about how this team will be moving forward, but I got a kick out of this as a segment and seeing this pairing together.

CHAT SHIT, GET HIT: Personally, a highly enjoyable segment with excellent commentary sprinkled in. This guy, every time I’ve read him, seems off his fucking nut and I love him for it.

El PRINCIPE V JOHN J. TRUTH: What a way to sell Referee Powell, by the way, and partly true!

The commentary about watching Principe destroy Truth, even if they don’t like EP per se, shows there’s a spectrum of heels, and how heel v heel can work, and Principe is de facto heel here, for sure. I had a sense that John J. would turn the corner shortly after, but in fairness, it didn’t last as long as I thought it would. Principe soon gets back on top, and here we got with another couple of heels in Xiang and The Great Wall. Xiang’s dialogue, as someone who has read him aplenty, was a really good job. Well done on that.

And Truth, defiant to the end, gets EXACTLY what he deserves. The last lines dial back to what I said in the previous paragraph. In the way DiBiase was used to turn heels face, Truth seriously has the potential to do that here, and is the least likeable human in the match, but the most interesting, as well. A superb way to kick things off.

A KINGDOM DIVIDED: I thought this was a fantastic segment. A lot of moving parts, characters to write for and interweave, and I was not expecting a TripAdvisor reference whatsoever. Everyone in this segment shone, and seemed like a kingdom divided indeed, but also a frighteningly functioning dysfunctional family that could be almost unstoppable if they click. However, with the amount of personalities and egos involved, will they ever reach that point? I don’t know. But, I’m sure as hell looking forward to finding out, one way or another.

MAKING THEIR OWN LUCK: Yes, indeed! A GREAT entrance and introduction. The segment, generally, is very good at setting up the following match, but could’ve been a tad shorter, no biggie, though. These girls are full of personality and have a lot to say.

UNITED TROUBLE V METAL MILITIA: A hot way to start off the match, and Metal Militia were involved in one of the best SCW PPV matches, so I reckon they’ll bring a lot of energy and fire to tag team matches here in GLOBAL, hence my observation during their segment earlier on. In fact, all of these have a high-octane style, or the vast majority at least, so this has the potential to be a FUN match, for sure.

So, it proves. I won’t break down every sequence. I got wrapped up in the match. Some quality commentary, as per, as well, including a potential new name for a move.

The tempo is being ramped up, and it’s not like it started off at a snail’s pace either. Two brilliant reversals in short order. Well done, indeed.

Good to see some variants on the near-fall attempts. I personally like doing them myself, so have to compliment them when I see them done by others, as well.

A great little match overall, and I wasn’t sure which way the wind would sail, so credit all round here. The sell job afterwards was awesome as well, and it felt like a band or comedian going off stage to a standing ovation at the end, which was a nice added touch between a case of likeable characters and a shining example, as well as others on this show too, you don’t always need to book face v heel and aye, Pedro, I see what you mean by you writing face v face. Congratulations here.

THE HANGOVER: What a horrible way to end the segment! But, the clue was in the title, I guess, and reminded me of a certain film series. Whether the segment title is apt in relation to the show, so far my feeling is no, and I hope that continues to be the case.

IS IT OVER: Admittedly, I had forgotten about The Bro to a degree until last pay-per-view and now here he is, again well-written to say the least, and I love the defiance from Jerry David. Given how heated and successful the David/Rah feud was last arc and how the PPV match ended, there’s no way it could be over and now the challenge is to see if they can maintain the momentum. My feeling is yes, and that’s testament to Kyle and Scott. Have fun, lads, and I reckon us readers will in the process.

ESPIRIT DE CORPS: Angel has been the star of the duo so far, so to see Saul to step forward and do well, I’m not surprised exactly, but the fact that I’ve just typed that reminds me of Steve Austin’s ‘emergence’ in the Hollywood Blondes v Flair and Arn tag team feud.

Quite a brutal introduction for The Law, who’ve been seen of course, but this feels like a proper debut for them and it’s clear what they’ll be doing for the next arc.

Then, Valorie comes in and sorts them right out! With help from Angel, it should be mentioned. Battle lines have been drawn, and everyone had a chance to shine here. A very good kick-off, albeit taken from Magnum Opus, and another reason NOT to frontload the show with past time-stamped segments, because it transitions into…

ADDRESSING THE PROBLEM: Fabulous fire by Saul, who handed The Law’s ‘asses’ to them verbally in more ways than one.

EZ RAH V ALFIE BUTTON: Bless, Chris, for taking this match, and he knows what I mean by that. Great way of starting things off in terms of commentary and selling how these two may be affected by previous results from Magnum Opus, what with a draw and defeat respectively.

A quick start, nevertheless, and I would’ve expected that out of both of them. So, that’s cool.

Aunt. Betty’s. Nut. Butter. Okay…

The commentary and action in this match go hand in hand. They mix VERY, VERY well indeed, and Chris hasn’t had his props for writing matches in the way he should have, and I’m not paying lip service, either, given I have read every match on every show, and most of you haven’t.

Took EZ a while to find the weak spot, didn’t it? The table was set and prepared well before the food arrived. Another grand job.

A NAUGHTY exchange between Allie and Mark. That, even off the aforementioned ABNB remark by Quinn, which is an advert waiting to be written…

DIDN’T expect the finish when it happened, which is not a bad thing. I’d like to see that again, for sure, and a MASSIVE thanks to Chris for writing a really entertaining match, especially under the circumstances. Hat’s off to you.

COMATOSE CONVERSATION: Usually, when I see a back-and-forth between these two, there’s a large dash of comedy as well as a sense of menace. Not here. Manny’s a straight-up prick to Pierson, and I’m privy to what’s going to happen in this arc, but if you’re not, the last few lines are a hint. An excellent example of a segment ticking all of the boxes without going on and on.

DOG FOOD ADVERT: It’s fucking aggressive is what it is! I liked it, though.

CRASH: One of my favourite segments of the night, and weirdly, EZ Rah felt refreshingly honest AND deluded at the same time. I loved the parallels with various crashes, and how he echoed what David said earlier on, too. And, the ending feels ominous, too. This had a LOT OF cracking stuff in it.

MAIN EVENT: Shae’s 3rd main event in a row, the spectacular PPV one being sandwiched by this and the Malta clash, and I personally preferred this TV main event. Some INTERESTING commentary to kick things off, the Ted Bundy reference, above all caught my eye, and great to see Reyn’s entrance, even if I would have switched them, personally. Yes, I could have, but going to respect Shae’s choice, here, and Allie and The Mark do well to explain the logic of it.

Again, Freddie going for such a big move early on? Hmm. I get it, and I don’t. Perhaps it’s his best shot, and he did say he’d go out swinging. It becomes a staple throughout the match, that part I do like.

Freddie’s Nightmare taking Alex out of the skies was something that made me sit up and take notice, for sure.

Rather than break every move down, as I usually would, let me give an overall perspective on the match.

It was another mini-cracker. Was it more than Freddie deserved? Perhaps, but I praise Shae for trying to take Rich to new levels he’s never seen before, and get why when you think that this might be the only opportunity for either man to get their hands on the other, and Freddie’s family has suffered a lot because of Reyn.

The finish may be brutal for some. That’s subjective, of course. Freddie did go out on his shield, though, and he’s a disposable character who can come back, or be left on the shelf. I don’t mind seeing him take a break.

It had some BIG spots, which is indicative of Reyn as a character and Shae’s writing style, irrespective of who’s involved. What I don’t like, and Chris pointed it out when I did this and I now do believe he’s right, is the use of brackets to constantly support the signature move. It can work, but I wouldn’t use it every single time. Chris did this effectively in his own match earlier on.

It had plenty of brilliant back and forth. The match did feel like Freddie went above, beyond and then broke his limits, fighting at a pace and level he’s not used to, yet giving Reyn a scare. Ultimately, the winner of this wouldn’t surprise, let alone shock, you. And, then, in typical Reyn fashion, he goes too far and ENDS Freddie in more ways than one.

HOTEL ROOM PARTY: I toyed with putting this earlier, and was going to go off the air with Freddie’s injury, but this time, I DID respect the time stamp and put it on last, because it wouldn’t have felt right given it technically takes place in the future. Plus, it’s a contrast to what we’ve just witnessed, so if it’s wrong, 100% of the blame lies with me, and me alone.

As for the segment itself, Pedro did a grand job with ALL of the characters, including the ones who aren’t handled by him.

Pleased to see so many segments in way ahead of time, what felt like more than usual to me personally, and while I respect anyone’s right to write whenever they want as long as it’s in before the deadline, I would still advise people (MYSELF included) to write just a little bit earlier, but hey, you’re all adults in here. Like I said, I need to get better at that in here, but speaking as someone who has had stuff in MONTHS early before, it’s better that way than leaving it until the last minute.

OVERALL: It wasn’t as much of a hangover show as I thought it would be, so well done on proving me wrong.

I’m surprised we didn’t have more matches, though I only wrote one, which isn’t normal for me, and I was keen to keep the word count down after a
MASSIVE PPV. Pedro certainly wrote the most this show and deserves an awful lot of credit. Does that mean this one was potentially segment-heavy? Yes, but not like Domination 4 in fairness, and we went the totally opposite way on 5. This had more of a balance than either of those shows, for me.

What I will say is, despite being pleased with this show, we can go further with off-site segments, and part of that problem is me, so I’ll be doing more of that in the future and encouraging you to do the same. It doesn’t mean you have to go to Jupiter or Saturn, or write a match from inside someone’s mouth, or worse as I’ve heard from the JTF crowd, ahem.

Our best Domination? No. Our worst? Absolutely not. I’m happy with it in the main, and onto the next one. Pleased to see some momentum carry forward from Magnum Opus, and long may that continue. As I said, I’m still expecting Gold Rush to beat it, ahead of the third and final arc of the first season.

Well done and thank you, everyone.
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Feedback - Part I

Post by pdbnb »

WELCOME TO MIAMI: Excellent intro. It felt like a real post-PPV intro, catching people who may not have seen Magnum Opus up on what's happened there. Great job.

GLOBAL CELEBRATION: Well-deserved hometown pop for Darring. Where are Alex's Golden Girls, though? Why did he settle for a simplified entrance? I guess he just wanted to get to the point. BIG old whiff of The Rock about Alecz's spiel. Oh man, vintage bait-and-switch heel work from Alecz after getting everyone's hopes up, including mine. Great in-ring confrontation, and this match is going to be HYPE. The Rock vs Dusty Rhodes, are you shitting me right now?

AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS: Every single brawl in GLOBAL is a highlight, and this one is no exception. Who in the everloving fuck is protecting Reyn, though? Because he's been Teflon from the beginning, and it's no different here. The fans ARE spared The Great Khali in the Main Event though, so swings and roundabouts.

THE QUEEN'S BANQUET: Patchface is apparently a Ninja, but most importantly - has Bianca lost the respect of her entourage? I guess we'll have to wait and see.

FAMILY MATTERS: Aiden Destruktor is totally Urkel. Anyway, they're here, they're clear, they don't want any more guest pay.

AUG v MALTA: Good opening match which suffers from the 'foregone conclusion syndrome' that affects so many GLOBAL matches. Still, it's interesting to see Son having an actual, workable strategy to face someone Big Aug's size, and it almost working - the guillotine choke had me believing against all evidences for a minute. Good win for Everyone's Zest Friend against a credible opponent, further cementing his status as a top 3 babyface in the company.

ADVERTISEMENT: These are back then, are they, instead of Doritos? Anyway, geez, this one is genuinely unnerving. Why is that narrator so insistent on pushing that question?

SLAUGHTERHOUSE GYM: So, is Jabari more of a Jonathan Coachman or a Shawn Daivari, I wonder? Anyway, interesting development, even if the segment felt a little like watching somebody else go through a wrestling tutorial.

PRIME TIME CELEBRATION: All of the yes to this feud!

FTK: #FTK. Also, hey, one of the best characters from SCW is here!

CHAT SHIT, GET HIT...TWICE: I just wanted Truth to get chokeslammed on the ramp by The Wall. I got that. I'm happy. In all seriousness, though, two highly satisfactory segments to plan out and execute.

SLAUGHTERHOUSE II: Danny Dream is turning babyface right in front of our very eyes...

A KINGDOM DIVIDED: Writing this was a blast. This group's dynamic and rapport are unreal. Shout-out to my co-writers. And if you don't see any of these people on the next show, it's because they died running up a mountain somewhere in the British Isles.

MAKE IT RIGHT: One of those scenes which explores the 'cinematic' aspect of GLOBAL, being meaningful while appearing throwaway. The reveal of dissension at the end is both VERY surprising and VERY interesting, as Freddie now has to deal with the consequences of his lax approach to the threat that is Reyn.

LIVE A LITTLE: Before anything else, this should have been two segments. The length really hurt it. I loved Alfie and X's dynamic here, with the latter FINALLY coming across as a real human person with feelings and emotions. The second half gives us our much needed biweekly dose of Amber Button, but unfortunately, it ruins the impact of the first half. This would have worked better split in half.

TROUBLE ROXX / REDNECKS: The most fun I've had in a while. I planned this match the minute United Trouble officially became a thing AND the full version of the Metal Militia signed on for the long run. Hopefully it's as fun to read as it was to write.

DORITOS: HERE he is. Apparently, he smokes crack? Aaaaall righty, then!

SLAUGHTERHOUSE III - Character development for Jabari, huh? Interesting.

FERRARI / FIAT: Boardroom drama. Ferrari's in hot water. I wonder if somebody could be preparing a not-so-hostile takeover... Somebody from Ferrari's past, perhaps?

Daniel Dream
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Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Post by Daniel Dream »

BEST MATCH: Freddie Rich vs Alex Reyn

Honorable mentions: Son of Malta vs Big Aug & EZ Rah vs Alfie Button. If it weren't for the main event, I worried I was going to have a tough time deciding which would be my match of the night.

BEST SEGMENT: The Queen's Banquet

BEST ANGLE: The Slaughterhouse Gym series.

BEST LINE OF THE NIGHT: "The honey in her tone replaced by ice." Just chef's kiss.

ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT: Any reference to real life pro wrestlers is just a -5 points for a show in my opinion, it's just a personal pet peeve.

We don't need "reminiscent of Triple H", "Hogan style", "Kurt Angle's Angle Slam as a reference"

I feel like we all know what a running knee or an Olympic Slam is without breaking immersion and those who don't can just look it up.
Jerry David
Site Admin
Posts: 261
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2022 11:23 pm

Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Post by Jerry David »

Welcome to Miami: Good intro to the show, does its job.

Global Celebration: Classic heel tactic of rolling out of the ring. I still don't feel like I buy Darring being THIS nice. He's too nice. I'm hoping that he snaps one day soon because at the moment I just feel like he's too pleasant.

Aggressive Negotiations: Problems for me here. ' and " used interchangeably. There's a couple of errors with punctuation as well. Plus, and this is also true in the main event, the opening portion of this segment is over-punctuated with exclamation marks. It just feels like I'm forced to shout everything in my head, and doesn't add anything to the writing - if anything, it detracts from it. Like someone in the office saying everything is URGENT, which then just makes absolutely nothing urgent. This segment just sells Reyn, and not Rich, or the feud itself (loaded pistols needed to stop him etc.) Also, they dive through a glass door, grab a fire extinguisher and then people RUSH in, guns loaded, and have a calm conversation. The two situations jar against one another. Where does Reyn disappear to? It isn't mentioned. Then he tilts his head later, so I guess they beat the piss out of each other then just... stopped and had a chat? It just doesn't work for me. Oh yeah and then Chris Hopper is just stood there with Hank. Nobody mentioned them, but it turns out they're stood there.

The Queens Banquet: Mine.

Family Matters: Arkansas now Arkansaw. Other than that, worked well, brings Metal Malitia onto the roster officially I suppose. I do see a lot of similarities between Pedro's characters though; elongated words (sheeeeiiiiit), colloqual nicknames for one another (bro!, Aid, etc) so sometimes I do think the characters need to differentiate from one another more. Just something to think on Pedro. Maybe it's just me?

Big Aug Vs SoM: This was the correct result.

Advertisement: Mine.

The Slaughterhouse Gym (I): Not sure where this is leading, but as it's part 1, lets see. Well written, though as a former wrestling student the teaching practice leaves a little to be desired lol, but it would be a bit shit if the segment was an hour of learning how to safely bump the mat I suppose haha.

Prime Time Celebration: Here's the problem I have with the tag division. This segment is right. PTA don't even mention the tag champions. Because the tag titles are completely irrelevant at this stage. And with so many SOLID tag teams; PTA, Trouble Roxx, The Law, etc.. The Master Sisters should be the name on everyone's lips, but they aren't.

FTK: Some punctuation issues here, but nothing major. And fair enough, because I know there were some technical problems this week for Chris! So fair play on even getting the stuff done lol. I like Gemini, and I want to see more of him. I'm not sure who Chris Smith is. But I guess we'll find out in the coming weeks.

Chat Shit, Get Hit: John J Truth has finally arrived! And he's bordering on racism. Careful with this one, Pedro... (PS: this guy DOES have a unique voice!)

El Principe Vs. John J Truth: Nice to see a match start in a non-conventional way, and the whole thing was a train wreck (in a good way) lol. Great stuff.

The Slaughterhouse Gym (II): The workout continues. It shows Dream is focused on that title, and rightly so. He's gotta be in contention for winning the tournament.

A Kingdom Divided: I don't think 2023 is the year to do jokes about women being on their period. Being completely honest, this one lost my attention.

Make It Right: Nudges the angle along gently.

Live A Little: Bloody line breaks. Aside from that a good segment, well written, moves things forward with X/Amber & Button slowly.

Making Their Own Luck: I know I said I didn't know who was speaking in some segments previously. No problem with that here on account of a ridiculous amount of people introducing people to other people, haha.

Roxx/Team United Vs. Metal Militia: Ok match, no idea who says that last line, not really sure why anyone is saying anything at the end of a match tbh.

The Hangover: An NDA signed in blood means I cannot legally discuss this segment.

The Slaughterhouse Gym (III): A nice ending to the series here. Will Jabari be brought in under Dream's wing and trained in pro wrestling? What I will say is... I thought Dream was a heel? He isn't acting it.

Ferrari? More Like A Fiat: Old men bitching. A fractious situation in the board room. Are we ready for a power struggle?

Is It Over?: Spoiler: It isn't.

Daniel Dream Vs. Joe Public: I think the result was always going to be obvious, but it helped move the "Dream is the corporate choice" thing along.

Picture of a rabbit: Cryptic.

Esprit De Corps: Solidifies the fact that these teams will be feuding this arc. Needs momentum with a few promos for me. I especially want to hear from The Law.

Addressing The Problem: I don't think The Law have become a cancer at all. They've jumped the guys at the PPV. That's it. Feels oversold. There isn't enough intensity in the angle for it to jump to cancer-status for me. This needs building. I don't think the face team coming out hard against The Law is the right way. The Law should be the ones drawing heat and cutting the promos IMO.

E Z Rah Vs. Alfie Button: A competitive match, as it ought to have been, but overall I'd say the right result. E Z is really over with most people here from what I've seen but he can still eat a bag of dicks.

Rent Arrears: A glitch in the matrix. Sorry everyone.

Comatose Conversation: As much as it pains me to complement the ballbag, this was excellent. Can't wait to see if Manny lets him live or die.

Advertisement: Woofless Aggression.

Crash: Comments are disabled. He means business. Why is he in a tunnel? Is he okay? It looks like this feud is really getting into E Z's head. Good. Eat a bag of dismembered dicks, E Z Rah.

I'm Sorry: Sells the main event well.

Alex Reyn Vs. Freddie Rich: Way, way, way, way, way too many exclamation marks. Almost every piece of action is punctuated by one. This makes everything exciting, and by default then makes nothing exciting. Struggled to follow some of the combinations because a lot of sentences are cut off mid-way to discuss a counter. Does well to put Reyn over.

Hotel Room Party: Personally I think the only reason a show should end with a segment is if it's really hard hitting. I won't say more than that because I think other feedback has pretty much covered this one to be fair.
Posts: 226
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Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Post by pdbnb »

IS IT OVER?: Short, sweet, well-written and does the job. Although, I thought nobody liked The Bro and he was never getting used again after Angel...?

DANIEL DREAM VS JOE PUBLIC: OK, so Keegan and Scott know this already, but what the everloving FUDGE is Joe Public doing here? Why is he taking up somebod else's spot? Should I list the people that COULD have been here? Crusader X, for a start - probably the most glaring omission. Darren Best. Christian goddamn Pierson. Hell, even Principe. Or, give Daniel The Wall after Reyn asks for Rich - there's history there! Anyway, achievement unlocked: squash match, achievement unlocked: no-sold finisher, and I still don't see the point.

DONNIE DARKO: Is still coming soon, apparently.

SAUL x 2: A couple of segments here setting up beef between Saul, Angel and Valorie and The Law. The reason there's two is that I immediately realized none of those five would sit on their ass for TWO WEEKS after the events of Magnum Opus before speaking their mind about it. So I set one of them in the past, and pre-empted the one that would normally have happened this week. Hopefully, it worked, and people liked it.

RAH VS BUTTON: NOW we're talking! This one should be HYPE. And yeah, it was. WHAT a match! My only gripe is that the ending felt a bit rushed and out of nowhere - perhaps Rah could have worked Alfie's ribs for a little longer. Otherwise, best match of the show so far - well done, writer!

RENT ARREARS: a duplicate segment...!? I think our Fearless Leader had his requisite biweekly goof-up here.

COMATOSE CONVERSATION: WHAT a segment! Manny is genuinely scary, and Hop continues to milk the 'it's actually a TV show' concept for all it's worth, and doing it beautifully.

ADVERTISEMENT: PUPPIES!!! PS Dogs definitely have personalities and opinions and dietary preferences - as anyone whose four-month-old puppy has ever chosen to eat very little for several days rather than have his available kibble would tell you.

CRASH: Uh, WOW? Whoever thought E Z Rah could get actually serious? Best feud continues to be best.

I'M SORRY: Fantastic hype for the main event, really making the stakes feel personal - as it should.

MAIN EVENT: Uhhhh...okay. Holy shit. And now I feel bad that I asked Keegan to tack my silly segment on at the end. Because Domination 100% should have finished on that horrifying moment, after what was, not so much a match, but a goddamn battle between two forces of nature. Freddie Rich single-handedly raised his stock, Reyn got cemented as a movie-monster psychopath, every blow felt personal and emotionally charged, and the rage and wrath from either man leaped off the page. Dare I say better than Magnum Opus' Main Event? Screw it. Better than Magnum Opus' main event, making it the best match in GLOBAL history to date. Out fucking standing.

PARTY SEGMENT: Keegan, you may want to remove the Riches, I don't think they're in the mood to party right now...

OVERALL THOUGHTS: This should felt breezy and easy to get through, after the legitimately physically exhausting experience of getting through Magnum Opus. Maybe that was just because a good chunk of the show was mine, but still. We DO need to be careful with segment overload, even #1 Segment Guy over here felt there should have been more in-ring action on this show. As for comparing it to #4, it's not even in the same galaxy, let alone the same ballpark. Even by GLOBAL standards,this is an ABOVE average episode of television, hugely helped by the fact that feuds, rivalries and personalities are now a lot more established than on our early shows. Like Keegan said, it's not a world beater, but they can't all be Magnum Opus, and as 'RAWs after Wrestlemania' go, this was definitely a great one, which kicks off the second arc perfectly. Onwards!
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Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Post by pdbnb »

TL;DR version.

BEST MATCH: The Main Event. Hands down. Best match of not only this show, but in GLOBAL history. Holy shit.
BEST SEGMENT: Comatose Conversation. Honourable mention: Crash.
BEST ANGLE: Reyn and Freddie Rich, is anyone surprised?
BEST LINE OF THE NIGHT: Alecz channelling The Rock when confronting Darring.
ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT: A few typos and sentence fragments missing. A duplicated segment in place of what I'm assuming was a unique one submitted by Reyn. A little too much focus on segments this time around. JOE PUBLIC IN THE GODDAMN TOURNAMENT taking up a spot that should probably have gone to one of the actual characters left off the brackets (I never thought I of all people would go to bat for Crusader X, but WHY THE EFF WASN'T CRUSADER X PUT INTO THE TOURNAMENT, HE'S UNDEFEATED!!! AND YOU PUT IN JOE PUBLIC?!?! WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?!)

That's it, though. We're nearly there.
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Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Post by Keegan »

Thanks for the feedback, guys.

I won't address most of it here. As for the real-life references, I agree when putting them in the words of the commentators, and I never do that. However, sometimes as a point of reference, I feel it can help for those (maybe, maybe not) in the know, and there are those in this fed who aren't familiar. So, okay, maybe it is redundant! I'll work on cutting those out for myself.

As for Joe Public being in the tournament, I thought that part was obvious.
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Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Post by Legend »

WELCOME TO MIAMI: A fun opening that fits a post-PPV show and GLOBAL taking the show to the southeast. I love hype and commentators adding flavor and setting up the night. It’s a nice touch and sets the tone for the night. Let’s go!

GLOBAL CELEBRATION: Seth and I co-wrote this. Seth did a great job coming out and setting the tone for the eventual match between the champion and number-one contender. A lot of fun, and I look forward to seeing where we can take this.

AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS: Freddie Rich and Alex Reyn are already at it. This “feud” has been going 110 MPH all of a sudden. I am confused about the end game here with this story. There was serious time investment into this feud coming out of the PPV. The segment was done well, though; Reyn was supposed to face The Great Wall … Oh no! At least we do not have to rebuild The Great Wall yet again. We have Rich and Reyn in tonight’s Main Event, hmmm. I hope the rest of the Rich Family come out to continue this angle later, and it’s not just a Reyn destruction.

I liked the added touch of Xiang demanding assurances since the Great Wall was removed from the tournament. And finally, Chris Hopper is there - yes, I see you!

THE QUEEN’S BANQUET: Interesting - this was pretty good. I liked the Queen early on the last arc, and it’s good to see her get some momentum back here in a story that looks like it will be a lot of fun. Not sure about the balls of smoke and whatnot, but it works.

FAMILY MATTERS: I thought Metal Milita was fun in SCW. I was rooting for them on the PPV, but they fell short. I am glad they are sticking around; this is a good introduction to GLOBAL-Nation.

MATCH: BIG AUG VS SON OF MALTA: This is a fun match to open the show. Aug is looking for some revenge after falling short against Alec. Malta has some momentum after beating Best.

Some good psychology in the match. Malta is showing a good following effort facing the big man and one of GLOBAL’s top stars but falls short. This match accomplished everything it probably needed to - moved Aug a long towards regaining a shot at the #1 contender. Malta continued to look like a worthy future opponent for nearly anyone in GLOBAL.

THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE GYM (1): A faceish promo from Dream. I did not see that coming; maybe some humbleness after the PPV? He is training and hard at work working with this Jabari fellow.

PRIME TIME CELEBRATION: I realize I could be more creative with these segment names. Earlier - GLOBAL Celebration and now Prime Time Celebration. Please forgive me.

FTK: First, where can I buy an FTK shirt? We all know Gemini healed from the Reyn beating by drinking kids' tears. Now he is here, and “Big Kid” Chris Smith from SCW is here with him. Let’s save everyone time and give FTK the tag belts now - because Fuck them Kids!

CHAT SHIT, GET HIT: A solid setup for the eventual El Principe vs. John J. Truth match. Truth skates the line some more. I kept waiting for the Xiang Dynasty to come out and get a face POP … Though we are in Flordia, maybe Truth is the face in this promo? So much to unfold here! Either way, here comes the Mexican legend …

MATCH: EL PRINCIPE VS JOHN J TRUTH: The brawl leads into the match. Nice touch, especially after the past two Truth promos. The legend feels disrespected. Truth leaving, but Principe stopping him and then hitting the Suicda spot was good stuff. The Miami crowd, with a big latin american culture counting in Spanish, was good. Hah - I was a little premature with my Ciang comment, as here they are.

The Great Wall plants Principe … Xiang demands an apology … And, ummm I guess Truth is not apologizing…

So we are transitioning from Principe to Great Wall, or we have a chaotic multi-feud going that is all revolved around Truth and his racist tendencies. This is an … well interesting theme feud. I would enjoy it even more - if the blatant racist words were subbed out for other choice words, but other than that, even with the chaos, I am finding myself a little intrigued here.

Will there be a three-way match? Will there be multiple matches inside this feud, like Principe vs. Wall, Truth vs. Principe, and Truth vs. Wall? There are a few ways this can go.

THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE GYM 2: More Rocky Balboa footage for Daniel Dream. Dream working hard to get that shot. Still coming off a bit faceish right now to me.

A KINGDOM DIVIDED: It appears to be some sort of round table with Alec, Best of British, and the Master Sisters. Seems like we have some sort of alliance building.

MAKE IT RIGHT: Rich Family is always written top-notch, and they always get heat. It’s actually pretty admirable that they did this in SCW when Keeg was the #2 and now in GLOBAL. Even when he tries to use them as angle fodder, they shine.

LIVE A LITTLE: Man, I did not see this coming - excellent sell job, and I wrote the match so that I may be partial to it! X and Alfie have some respect after that PPV battle. Amber Lee joins - like the good little stalker she is. She always knows where Alfie is! I want Amber to join X in turning on Alfie after he gets uneasy about her Stalker-like vibes!

Wait .. watch some telly? Is this the Brits version of Netflix and Chill?

MAKING THEIR OWN LUCK: A lot of energy in this segment… Lots of moving parts and content to take in. But - it’s all there to set up a match, so let’s see how this goes.

TROUBLE ROXX & TEAM UNITED VS METAL MILITIA: This fun little multi-man match allowed many teams some air time following the segment that set things up. I see potential in a few of these teams, so giving them all some air time here isn’t a bad idea at all.

SLAUGHTERHOUSE GYM 3: More Jabari and Dream work it’s been a theme throughout the show. Dream still shows his human side. Welcome to the good guys!

FERRARI? MORE LIKE A FIAT: Hey now, let’s be nice to the genius of Ferrari. He brought the legend in! Damn, these suits are mean. Do they not see the marketing money they can make off The Legend versus The Hall of Famer? For shame! Hopper must be behind this, I tell ya.

IS IT OVER? Is Vince Russo in GLOBAL??? Bro, no!

MATCH: DANIEL DREAM VS JOE PUBLIC: What is this Joe Public garbage? The board is continuing their support behind Daniel Dream, but now that he is a nice guy from what we have seen earlier, will they continue? Joe Public gave Dream a tougher match than The Great Wall! I will never forget!

ADDRESSING THE PROBLEM: Angel gives a challenge to the Law. Some decent lines with the court-martialled. Let’s see where this goes.

MATCH: E Z RAH VS ALFIE BUTTON This looks like a good match-up on paper. However, it’s ripe for some shenanigans. This was a solid middle-of-the-show back-and-forth match - I expected something different. No Crusader X, no Amber Lee, no Jerry David. Well, okay, EZ with a big win.

RENT ARREARS: More Rich Family angle work. At least some context is being added after the big investment.

COMATOSE CONVERSATION: Pierson’s build and character work has been a treat. I have been impressed with the slow build and introductions to the mind of Pierson. Manny has a grip on ol’ Christian, and it’s only a matter of time.

CRASH: Wow, intense good stuff by E Z. Just when you think things were chaotic between David and Rah, you realize there is a lot of meat left on that bone for them to get even more chaotic. Marvelous stuff.

I’M SORRY: This is a Rich Family show! I am not complaining, but if we are going to invest, I want to see some payoff with the boys! This is a good RP by Freddie.

MATCH: ALEX REYN VS FREDDIE RICH: First off, before I read the match, I am really hoping this isn’t just a one-off - Reyn blasts Rich into the ER room, and we are moved on, and the spot in the PPV is now an afterthought. That will not do anyone any good. Not the three men from the PPV, not the Rich Family, and not Alex Reyn.

Reading the action - I can tell it’s a Shae match. Solid storytelling inside the ring, fun well-timed spots, and Rich is getting more offense than I had expected.

Close ten count there… Freddie getting the resilience POP. Solid ending for the match - not sure what it does for the feud. I will wait and see - hopefully, something is planned here.

Reyn isn’t letting go post-match, which is expected. Rich just cost him a chance at the title. Reyn attacks a referee … Freddie is getting the Gemini treatment.

Well - I guess that is the end of Reyn and the Rich? Hmmm

HOTEL ROOM PARTY: The fact that the Rich Family is in the Hotel Room celebrating after the event and is nowhere to be found helping Freddie is just icing on the cake to this whole Freddie Rich - Alex Reyn stuff for me, HAHAHAHA… PERFECT WAY FOR IT TO END FOR ME!!! Thank you, Pedro!

Anyway, interesting final segment. John Truth shows up - I was expecting him to start slinging racist insults and was almost a little disappointed he didn’t, but actually thankful - I don’t know.

Overall Thoughts:

It was a much easier read than some of the past shows. I am not saying that is good or bad. I like more meaningful matches, but that is just me. We had some key misses with a show post-PPV - I think a tournament graphic on the show and some more context in a segment discussing that may have been good. Didn’t Scott make a graphic?

I am a little confused about the whole theme of the show being Reyn/Rich throughout the night - only to end the feud seemingly. So it was a 1 ½ show feud in GLOBAL that lasted the PPV and the first Domination? What is that about? Weird booking that seems to have missed a lot of potential storytelling.

But - there was a lot of good stuff also. The tournament will happen through the arc. Darring/Aleczander is a very marketable feud. EZ/David is already making moves for a big follow-up. A few multi-character segments offer promise.

There are a lot of questions to be answered for good or bad after this show. And I think it’s safe to say Reyn better have some suspension, or I am unsure what GLOBAL is doing!

The Good:
- Even if I am not on board with the creative, the Main Event was again top-notch.
- E Z Rah segment was outstanding.
- Multsegments that worked. Crusader/Lee/Alfie, Truth/Principe/Xiang Dynasty, The Round Table, Multi-tag segment.
- Aleczander was awesome, stepping up as the number-one contender. Thanks for making me look ok!
- New feuds are taking a step - IE: Queen and Joker.
- Christian Pierson's character building.

Thoughts for Improvement:
- Story investments… I may be the only one confused, but I don’t get the story investment with Reyn and Rich. Is Rich just a sacrificial lamb in furthering Reyn’s individual story? Hopefully, this all becomes clearer in due time, but if that is the case, why so much investment with all the RIch stuff on the show? Then the rest of the family at the hotel just chillin talking to Darren Best like nothing happened, LOL!
- Truth, my friend, you be walking a fine line with some comments!
- I didn’t feel the tournament was sold as well as it should be.
- Confused with Dream's training segments - he came across as likable and a face. I know he is back in the gym and showing that determination to get his spot back, but it just seemed like a different Dream. Curious and confused about what that was about.
- The show generally didn’t feel big, which is fair following the PPV. Just compared to some of the past Domination's it felt, in general, underwhelming.

I think going into our second arc, our (at least mine) expectations have risen. 5.5/10 Easy show with lots of fun segments, but too much confusion from me.
Handle: "The Legend" Sean Darring & Prime Time Athletes
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Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Post by pdbnb »

I told Keeg he should edit the Riches out of the final segment... xD

Re: Truth, after the MO fiasco, I WAS extremely careful to only include a single (bleeped out) controversial word. I'm aiming for that standard, or less, in upcoming segments. However, think of Truth as the crazy old man at the grocery store ranting at the Universe and saying all sorts of terrible things about minorities, women and the Government, before calling the cashier 'sweetie' and trying to grope her. Not a guy you're supposed to like. AT ALL.
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