DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Please post all your feedback for the shows here
Keegan
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Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2022 8:52 pm

Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Post by Keegan »

And it helps EVERYONE, myself, keep going, as Chris pointed out in the thread ABOUT feedback on the other boards. I've had a few rough days regarding the hobby, admittedly, so it's pleasing to see feedback, irrespective of whether it's complimentary or critical. We're all here to have fun and hopefully improve along the way.
Jerry David
Site Admin
Posts: 261
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Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Post by Jerry David »

Updated my feedback back on page one.
Queen Bianca
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Dec 08, 2022 1:01 am

Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Post by Queen Bianca »

BEST MATCH: Freddie Rich vs. Alex Ryen- I loved this match. A classic monster heel takes on a resilient baby face.
BEST SEGMENT: Global Cleberation- I enjoyed this ATG vs Sean is set to be an amazing feud, and I can't wait to see more.
BEST ANGLE: Slaughterhouse Gym
BEST LINE OF THE NIGHT: “Don’t waste your time on all those other minnows in the back, mate… you go after the biggest, hungriest, most powerful, goldest, most Hall of Famer-iest shark in the back!
ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT: I can't wait to see more honestly; all the stories look like they are picking up steam.
DogiCrimson
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Nov 24, 2022 6:10 am

Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Post by DogiCrimson »

Rambling time; I HAD the massive few k word document. Had. Then I got into a call with a veteran (Hi Shae) who managed to explain how different the culture of E-Wrestling RP is. Which obviously meant that the rambles were tossed into the abyss as they were written from a POV of a novel-prose writer / avid text roleplayer / ttrpg player… which is not as useful as you’d think.

With that ramble out of the way, here we go, my thoughts on the characters during the DOM 6 because if I start writing my opinion on the writing the prose-writer will raise it's ugly head and we don't want that. Also not going to talk much about the fights themselves aside from a few words here and there due to my sheer lack of knowledge on wrestling itself.


The Legend Sean Darring; I do find myself enjoying this fella. Charismatic, humbler than most others. He really gives me a vibe of a ruler that's ready to pass on the torch, but first he has to make sure the new guy deserves it. The scene where he straight up challenges Aleczander to a match right then and there, mwah, beautiful. Somehow I have a feeling he knew (or at least had a hunch) that Aleczander would bolt. Good guy, would draw art of.

Aleczander The Great; You just had to go and ruin a good moment. I have to hand it to them, being able to ignore all the boo's is a great talent, now if you just had the confidence to stay in the ring to have that match. Meh on how much I like 'em, their entrance left a slightly sour taste in my mouth but otherwise things were positive. Not sure how truthful his words about The Master Sisters and Best Of British were, but still, glad to see him boosting his team-mates (even if the team is shady).


Alex Reyn; Man is terrifying, and I can't wait for him to get his teeth kicked in for everything he's done, and the executives who thought having him in was a good idea to get their comeuppance. Not my favourite character, even if I meme Tobias hiding away from him in more and more creative ways. Crashing through the glass and tumbling around with Freddie Rich was a memorable scene though and if I wasn't so pressed for time I would've doodled that.

That fight tho, man that was brutal...


Freddie Rich; I really feel for this guy. I really do. No one deserves to have their family-members (the ones they like at the very least) brutalised like that by a madman. And then being forced to leave the area? Even if it was pulled back, the fact they even considered that as an option was a slap on face.

His speech to Alex sent small chills down my spine - putting your life on the line for something you believe in? Mad props man. Even when you were getting beat up to a point where most would've given up, ya got back up. I can just hope ya survived all that.


Bianca; She's a character I love to hate, hate to love, so good job! While I don't have anything in depth to say, I do want to see a bit more of her around. She's hilarious, she's entertaining, and I had fun reading her section.


Robinsons family; I put this all together for now because I need to speed my typing out a bit; I love the family dynamic here. It's clear they care about each other, even when their opinions are differing a bit. Good stuff. I might have trouble remembering their names separately, but they make a good unit.


Big Aug; Real talk I didn't expect myself to like this character as much as I did. I don't have much in depth feedback here, because I don't know how to break down the fights in a way that gives solid insight to my brain - but I enjoyed his match.

Son of Malta; Ditto as above, the fact that he could get up there and celebrate with his friend despite losing was a nice touch.


- SIDE NOTE -
Whoever wrote that dentist advertisement, what the actual fuck. Why? What unearthly god decided to impact you with the ability to squick the ever living daylights out of people. Kindly go sit on a cactus you magnificent crazy person.


Jabari; Someone get this kid away from that training gym. Now. Something about the whole situation is setting my teeth on edge (then again, it could be that advertisement) and I really hope it's just my paranoia talking and not me being right about a bad situation. I mean it is a kid who's desperate to get into the game, after a horrific thing happened, that's prime material for manipulation right there.


Daniel Dream; I don't trust you. I really don't. I don't care how many matches ya won or the bright smile or whatever - I don't trust this bloke whatsoever, my metaphorical hackles are raised. The worst part is I don't know WHY I don't trust 'em. Clearly the dude's working hard and understands he needs to work to get his wins, but at the same time... the guy has BEELZEBUB as a friend.

Also sidenote, the fact his name is DREAM and he has a smiley mask during this DOM (even if yellow), I'm getting some DSMP Dream vibes. Which most likely was unintentional but the brain do be finding these funny connections. Here's a link for a reference.


Prime Time Athletes; I hope someone kicks that pedestal underneath you, soon, having confidence is one thing but this ego is grating. I would be more forgiving if they were funny, but so far it's just bragging. Not exactly a huge fan, unfortunately.


Gemini; Sir, that is not what Mansplaining means. I will steal Moronsplaining into my vocab however. Also I don't like this character too much right now, which upsets me because Gemini is such a badass name.


John J. Truth; I want to kick him in the face. Unfortunately I cannot reach that high, but thankfully rightfully enraged El Principe to tear him to shreds. Real talk tho, the character is fascinating to watch/read - like a trainwreck, as Allie said. While not my favourite character, they are entertaining on segments they've been in so far. Now if someone would just give 'em a bath...


El Principe; I need to refresh my memory on this guy, but he's getting brownie points on kicking Truth in the gut. Also I am a sucker for angry fighters so sue me.


Xiang and The Great Wall; GET HIM BOYS. I mean on other hand, interrupting the beat-down was not fun, but on other hand, these two have style AND getting Truth slammed like that? Beautiful. Absolutely stunning. The polite persona with sheer authority is great combination.


Best Of British; Please get along with your new team-mates boys, you're going to need 'em.


The Master Sisters; EYYY my favourite girls! Glad to see Auroras no-nonsense-unless-its-from-my-sisters-attitude is still intact, being able to tell the guys off like that. And Dawn's a riot, just like always.


Declan Rich; Boy has some feelings and I hope those feelings don't come and bite him in the buttocks. This is the perfect set-up for him to do something crazy though... Let's see what the payoff is.


Alfie Buttons; I like him here. Down to Earth, holds his promises, and doesn't beat around the bush - very perceptive too. I hope nothing too bad happens to him. Also my heart melted a little on that scene with Amber. Glad to see a little wholesome moment between all the carnage and suspicion that's going on.


Crusader X; In this specific DOM, I do like X. Showing up to check on your opponent and what not - though I wonder what's on his mind, what does he know that the rest of us don't?


Trouble Roxx; At first I thought I wouldn't be able to remember this two too well aside from having air of troublemakers and generic twitch streamer hype-girl personalities - but seeing them doing this full on tag-team battle with open invite and being rather earnest for their match (as well as showing some respect during it) has me hoping they'll have a good time. Not necessarily a victory, just good times.


Interlude - Of course there's backstage suits talking about money. That's what it always amounts to. Soulless penny pinchers the lot of 'em.


Jerry David; You have the patience of a saint for I would've said something about the overuse of bro.


The Angel and the Jerk + Valorie; Aside from my obvious bias about marine corps (positive bias), Angel (one of my faves so far), these three are an amazing team so far, and I really hope to see 'em together for a while longer. Seeing them hop in and be ready to help one another like that just warms me heart. I am rooting for them on their endeavors, 100%
(Lowkey hope they become a family I: Plz. Saul and Valorie got the perfect co-parenting down already.)


E Z Rah: His match here was fun to read, kudos to the writer. Also that mental breakdown scene was beautifully written - seems like his NFT empire is not the only thing crashing.
Keegan
Posts: 360
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2022 8:52 pm

Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Post by Keegan »

Brilliantly done, Dogi.

Thank you very much.
BlairPWO
Posts: 24
Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2022 10:11 pm

Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Post by BlairPWO »

Okay, so, I haven't nailed down a format for feedback yet. But for this show, here's what I'm gonna do: If a segment stands out to me, whether especially positively or in terms of me thinking it needs improvement, I'll mention it here. If I don't mention your segment, take it as a "good work, no notes" kind of thing. As for the matches, I'll be reviewing every match similar to the way I review actual wrestling matches on my channel and on Twitter except minus the scores.

LES GO

Global Celebration - Nothing like a hometown crowd after a title win! Liked Darring's address to the crowd. The rest is a fine but generic opening segment with the typical "nah not tonight idiot" shenanigans from the heel. Very, very PG-era WWE, except for the "giant bag of dicks" comment that kinda came out of nowhere but was amusing. Fits Aleczander's dipshit older millennial character.

Aggressive Negotiations - AHAHAHAHA THIS WHIPPED ASS. LOADED PISTOLS. THAT RULES. I'm such a sucker for this shit, with "this shit" being hyperviolent brawls spilling from backstage and into the ring area. Loved Freddie Rich's anger. Really enjoying the differences in motivation and empathy between the three executives. I'm not a fan of on the fly card changes but the justification worked. You can't play by the rules when Reyn's involved.

The Queen's Banquet - Comedy goofin'. Feels like a Boogeyman segment. The main reason why this stood out is because I think it would work better as a buffer after a match tbh. Perfect type of thing for that. We've gone a while with no wrestling already.

Family Matters - Briscoes vibes! Dug this a lot. Metal Militia are really endearing characters.

"BIG AUG" AUGUST LAZAR VS. SON OF MALTA - Great! Very simple, focused TV match, which I love. Good sense of struggle. Good emphasis on the difference in style, technical ability, and of course size. Quite compelling! Totally love Aug and Del. Son of Malta, despite his extensive backstory, is a bit of an enigma to me personality-wise (intentionally?) but his style is exactly the kind of thing I like to watch and it translates well onto the page. Very succinctly written and easy to read.

Advertisement - I didn't know GLOBAL aired on Adult Swim.

The Slaughterhouse Gym (I) - Ooooh, ANOTHER show-long thread! I'm getting spoiled. I'm a sucker for training segments too. Interesting to see Dream take this punishment and to see Jabari step into the ring. I think having him immediately go into powerbombs is... a lot, but hey! Suspension of disbelief. Solid start.

Chat Shit, Get Hit - I think racist villains in fiction can be an important way to analyze and tear apart bigotry, but this felt kinda cheap to me. Truth is an awkward caricature of a ranting Firstname Bunchanumbers on Twitter. He seems like a character made entirely to get his ass kicked in order to stick it to those low hanging fruitcakes instead of someone who actually feels like one of those people. I have to be up front with my bias here, though: I do not like these kinds of segments. "Asshole jobber gets in the ring, says obviously offensive things, and then gets murdered" angles do nothing for me.

EL PRINCIPE Vs. JOHN J. TRUTH - What did I tell ya? Well, at least it's made obvious that Truth sucks at everything. The impromptu match itself is... mostly a mess, sadly. The actual action is mostly just some run-on sentences that are hard to parse in service of establishing that Truth has no business in the ring and nothing else. El Principe hasn't done much for me in the past and he does even less for me here. Then we get the interference, a double countout, and the big punchline is... a racial slur followed by a beatdown. There are much better and more engaging ways to tackle racism and bigotry than this straw bigot stuff. Again, I have to caveat this with the fact that this whole style of angle is just not my thing, but this and the preceding segment were a waste of time in my opinion. Xiang and The Great Wall are fun characters who deserve better than this.

The Slaughterhouse Gym (II) - I echo the comments about Dream showing a lot of babyface fire. Dream is such a prick that I'm half expecting a bait and switch, an MJF-style "jerk with a heart of jerk" kind of thing. Again, though, I'm a sucker for everything being attempted here and it's pulled off well!

A Kingdom Divided - Oh my God, the PETTINESS! I love makeshift heel factions full of stuck up jerks being passive-aggressive and regular-aggressive to each other. Great stuff for everyone. Excited to see more.

Make it Right - Short but powerful little segments like this can be the lifeblood of a good wrestling show. Lots of emotion and gravitas packed into a small space.

Live a Little - I won't comment on the first half of this for obvious reasons. I wrote everything up until X dipped aside from the specifics of Alfie's dialogue, which were Keegan's, as usual. Seriously, a big thank you to Keegan for writing his dialogue; I know you said that you wanted to, but even if you hadn't? As an American from the Detroit area I don't know Geordie from Cornish and any attempts I'd make would be disastrous, so this works super well. The last half of the segment takes the tone from somber but motivational to cute and heartfelt in a switch-up that I really enjoyed. I like the straightforward sweetness of Alfie and Amber's relationship. It is definitely a bit long, and that's on me and how I agreed to do the segment; I'll work on it in the future. Even so, I really enjoyed the back half of this.

Making Their Own Luck - As someone who is regularly exposed to TikTok against their will, Trouble Roxx's dialogue is somehow the most zoomer thing I've read in a while. I'm surprised but grateful that Teagan didn't say "poggers". I would have maybe preferred a bit more fire or even some playful trash talk from both teams, but as far as "hi, let's fight" segments go, this was reasonably entertaining.

TROUBLE ROXX & TEAM UNITED VS. METAL MILITIA - Fun, low-stakes, mostly low-drama 8-man tag. Lots of high flying and crowd-pleasing exchanges and counters. The kind of thing I'd gladly watch on a Wednesday evening. Loved the finish and how Izzy's hesitation cost her. Loved Teagan's emotional reaction to Izzy taking that much punishment even more. Trying to picture a scenario where a Phoenix Splash into a bicycle kick wouldn't result in murder and failing! Pretty solid match!

The Hangover - What

The Slaughterhouse Gym (III) - Damn. That's unfortunate. Love a good wistful rumination on what could have been. Lends some strong depth to Jabari's character. Pretty interested to see where he goes.

Ferrari? More Like a Fiat. - Ah, yes, a good, solid "executives are stupid as hell" segment! Them not being fine with the hugely popular and experienced Darring being the starting face of their company is typical know-nothing suit stuff. Glad to see the GLOBAL execs again. Been a while!

DANIEL DREAM Vs. JOE PUBLIC - Ahhh, the ol' Styles vs. Ellsworth II. Only difference is that Joe Public won't send nudes to an underage girl two years after this (...right?). This was a great work of the kind of bullshit shenanigans-filled hubris-based wrestling that I love. Very good story here. This whole "Dream is being protected by GLOBAL management" thread is giving me... ideas. My only problem is that it made for a pretty weird contrast with the Slaughterhouse Gym segments. More on that in the cons.

E Z RAH Vs. ALFIE BUTTON - The entire commentary team should have taken cold showers before this match. Holy shit. That aside, quite the fun little match between two characters who have been really enjoyable this episode! Good mix of athleticism and simple storytelling with strong continuity from the X match and earlier segment. Whether it was intended or not, I liked E Z taking a bit to exploit the injury due to his inexperience. Definitely a lot on the table left between these two for when Alfie is at 100%.

Rent Arrears - ERROR. ERROR. ERROR.

Comatose Conversation - Sheeeeeesh. This is heavy. Dig the inclusion of a non-reality based segment. Always interested in wrestling experimenting with those.

Advertisement - Yup. Adult Swim.

Crash - Great promo. Succinct, funny, full of anger. E Z is fast becoming one of my favorites in GLOBAL. I hope he feuds with Jerry forever. I maybe would have put this before his match, but this works too.

I'm Sorry - Another great promo. Classic babyface fire from Freddie. Genuinely got me hyped to read the main event.

ALEX REYN vs. FREDDIE RICH - God damn, man. This is the kind of match, above all others, that I wish was real. I spoke with Shae last night about some highlights of his match writing style and one of the things I pointed out was that he often starts his matches out hot with shocking big move attempts. This was the perfect match for him to write because of that; it sold Freddie's desperation to win and take revenge on Reyn perfectly. The momentum shifts were sudden and surprising. The brutality leapt off the page. I gasped when I read about Rich's head hitting the apron in particular and then again when he went into the steps at the end. The way Freddie studied Reyn carefully and had everything he did scouted only to get more and more wobbly as well as desperate after repeated head injuries was a fantastic central conceit. It was a bit long, and I probably would have brought it to a close sooner after Rich's head hit the apron, but a different approach from what I would do does not make it a bad approach Easily one of the best GLOBAL matches I've read so far.

Hotel Room Party - Uuuugh. More Truth. The Riches not being with Freddie was also a mistake... the kind of character-based misstep that WWE in its worst years would make, tbh. Good epilogue otherwise! Good to see some of the more likable babyfaces partying together. It does make sense that the members of the locker room who like each other would hang out together.

Pros
- Very easy show to read.
- Lots of short rapid fire segments that nonetheless did a great job of establishing different characters despite their short length.
- GREAT show-long plot thread with Reyn and Rich and another good one with the Slaughterhouse Gym. Love a good show-long plot thread. Have I mentioned that yet?
- The ads made me feel like I'd huffed spraypaint, which I believe is the intent.
- Opener and main event were great and all other matches but one were at least good.
- Lots of matches based around injury targeting, but, like, actual interesting injury targeting instead of the cliche "work the leg" stuff.
- Loads of interesting characters that got some nice little moments to shine!
- Some good background development that fleshes out the inner workings of GLOBAL itself.

Cons
- The entire Truth angle. The only place I want to see this character again is on the back of a milk carton.
- Some typos and weird sentence structure here and there. Some segments, specifically the first two matches and the opener, could have used another pass through to fix grammar and misspellings.
- The contrast between the Slaughterhouse Gym segments and the Dream vs. Public match was a bit jarring. This isn't a big complaint because that might be the point and this might be the beginning of Dream evolving, but it was still jarring.
- Aside from a few key moments where they were warranted and well used by characters who should be using them, I feel like "fuck" and "shit" were overuused in many segments.
- Nothing particularly earthshaking except for the main event.
- Minor nitpick: I would have personally put Aug vs. Malta after Aggressive Negotiations. The way it worked was fine, yeah, but there were some decently long segments before any actual wrestling happened. This is more of a personal pet peeve of mine with wrestling in general than an actual structural problem. I like wrestling shows that get to the action quick.

MATCH OF THE NIGHT: Reyn vs. Rich for sure. Fantastic main event. Honorable mention is Big Aug vs. Son of Malta.

SEGMENT OF THE NIGHT: Aggressive Negotiations. Set up the main perfectly and was exactly the kind of chaos I love.

Overall, aside from the opener being segment heavy instead of starting immediately with a match, this show kind of reminded me of a very specific period in wrestling: the very early days of AEW Dynamite. There there were some good things, some great things, some really interesting risks taken in the segments, a bit of overindulgence in mayhem and vulgarity, and a couple things that made me want to tear my hair out. But overall, what stood out to me about early Dynamite is that I had a lot of fun watching almost every episode regardless of the presence of some things I wasn't into. And I had a lot of fun reading Domination 06. If I had to rate it... probably a 7/10.
Jerry David
Site Admin
Posts: 261
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2022 11:23 pm

Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Post by Jerry David »

Cheers, Blair. Very detailed and helpful feedback. Much appreciated.
pdbnb
Posts: 222
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2022 10:05 pm

Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Post by pdbnb »

Thank you for the feedback. I particularly enjoyed the fact that I got the 'zoomer' language down, as I, like Alexander, am one of those 'older millennials' and therefore second-guess myself about what 'kids these days' sound like all the time. Fortunately, I watch a lot of YouTiube... Thank you for making me aware of 'poggers', though... *evil grin*

As for the Truth angle, all I'll say is, there's more to him than a caricature, even if he may be coming across as one right now (which I'll admit to). He IS Firstname Bunchanumbers from Twitter (by design, as unfortunately I have seen a fair bit of their stuff over my tenure on the Twits), but he is also other things. The angle is also going somewhere, hopefully somewhere you enjoy better :)
MasterSisters
Posts: 25
Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2022 10:20 am

Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Post by MasterSisters »

BEST MATCH: ALEX REYN vs. FREDDIE RICH - It needs to be, it kinda outshone everything else this show.
BEST SEGMENT: Live a Little - Overall a bit too long for a segment, imo, but I really enjoyed it nonetheless
BEST ANGLE: Hall of Famer vs Legend - The big title rivarly should be the best, and thankfully for now its one I enjoyed so far. Partially due to Aleczander, ngl.
BEST LINE OF THE NIGHT: I don't really have one
ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT: A small thing is the last segment. It feels very out of place after that match as other people have mentioned. Secondly, I think there could be a better job at selling the tournament. Even though a good chunk of the show was dedicated to it's matches, it still felt like just something that was happening and not really the big deal it should have been.
Keegan
Posts: 360
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2022 8:52 pm

Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread

Post by Keegan »

Thanks very much, Blair and Crash. Excellent observations.
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