Those Riches show tough love!
DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread
Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread
Handle: "The Legend" Sean Darring & Prime Time Athletes
Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread
Well you know how I do.....sit down with the show on one screen and my textpad on the other and read/react/repeat....
So let's get rolling....
WELCOME TO MIAMI - I love these introduction segments. It sets the mood for the show and this is important because we are NOT at "The Globe" arena! We are in the back yard of "Da Champ!" This did many things in one short segment: 1) sold the show itself, 2) sold the upcoming tournament and next PPV event, 3) sold that we have a new champion and top contender for this arc. Great stuff.
I want to repeat the key word that we all need to be truly understanding here - SELL
GLOBAL CELEBRATION - One of the great problems of the last league I ran was that my first champion quite literally crapped the bed the show after he won the title. This was great for Global that the champion shows up and sells the living bejesus out of being champion. I love the you deserve it chant, and love even more when Aleczander shows up to rain on the parade. His twisting the chant to his purpose was excellent and the teasing of doing the match right here and now was top notch. This is setting up to be a standard-bearing feud for Global.
As an aside....I have been around Bell for 25+ years in this hobby (yes I am old) and he is one of the best sellers in the game overall. I have been around Seth for quite awhile in a few different feds and he has become one of my favorite handlers of all time. These two working together is going to be good for the league and fun for the readers. Good stuff guys.
AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS - Reyn and Rich....and The Great Wall? I will address the tournament as a whole in my overall thoughts, but this swerve was a no brainer as The Great Wall needs to be kept out of the title hunt for now until proper time presents itself. Reyn needs this plot hole filled (I still don't know why this "issue" from another league had to be settled here and now), so making this the main event tourney match was the "Wright move" (yeah, I can do this too. Yes, my name character is now in Global to work storylines in the admin side of the league, which will be fun. But I loved how Reyn just knew better than to even move once Hopper and Hank showed up. Make of that what you will, "parasite."
QUEEN'S BANQUET - It isn't fair that this happens in my brain and it may be why Bianca has not truly gelled in my head when I see her stuff....but I swear when I read Bianca, I read it as though I'm watching Paris Hilton with tats. So the voice in my head when I read it probably hurts where the writer wants it to go. The Jester is taunting her and I love it is driving her to look almost insane to people. "That's Hot" (and if you get that reference, you may be old too)
FAMILY MATTERS - I love Metal Militia (and when they were Trailer Park Assasinz way back when). Their interaction is fun and they are now more "legit" than before they took this new name. "shiiieeet" LOL Big time The Waire vibes there and even though Hayley said it, I read it in Clay Davis' voice. I loved this for what it sets up as the MM are here to stay
BIG AUG VS SON OF MALTA - Great first round tournament match. Big Aug is a dark horse in my mind to end up winning this thing and him against either Aleczander or Darring would be money. Heck....even in there with the likes of Dream or Reyn would be money. This match was what I hoped it would be. Malta is a serious wrestler with technical expertise and a submission skillset. Big Aug is big freaking Aug. 7-4. This is a match made in hell for Malta and yet the man holds himself well in a match he is destined to lose from the size disparity. The rare thing in this match was Son of Malta, at timers, showing a speed advantage. I have written Malt many times and never has he had a speed advantage! LOL This was so great for me in that regard. The fact that Malta not only gets a quickness edge, but manages to suplex the much larger man and get some near falls shows that he truly is one of our gatekeepers. This was a really fun match and a great job overall.
ADVERT #1 - Honestly I am happy with my smile now. Thanks for asking. I could have done without an exploding head. These adverts are kind of sick lol
SLAUGHTERHOUSE GYM - This was a nice training segment and this is really giving Dream the face shine. I'm not sure Dream could truly pull the face, but this has me wondering. I'm sick in the head. I totally read this as though Jabari is getting completely groomed by Cillian and it is only a matter of time before the kid is stuck in some dark web only fans production. LOL
PRIME TIME CELEBRATION - I love the PTA. I'm calling it now, these guys will be tag champs by end of season 1. Just good stuff here all around and they are a lot deeper than a hanz and franz rip off (aka the team they beat at Magnum Opus) Great stuff.
FTK - Gemini is the bomb. I love writing him. Keegan suggested the pairing with Smith in his feedback for the PPV and you got it. I swear I will create real life FTK shirts if I thought they would sell. The material for these guys is going to be endless.
CHAT SHIT, GET HIT - Truth is an racist old man waiting on soup at a deli, I get it (catch that reference?). When it comes to the words that he is obviously bleeping out....it may make it better to actually write the bleep [BLEEP] instead of some lines. It makes it obvious that it was a buzzword that got flagged and draws attention to it. The character will be interesting to see how it plays out. I'm not a fan of the racial undertones....and even bleeping words that could be construed as epithets is a dangerous area to traverse. Just be careful (I know you can write well enough to not need such lengths).
PRINCIPE VS TRUTH - The Powell reference was great. The fact his size is what it is should always be an issue when he referees a match. It adds layers to a match when things like that are noted. “I ain’t apologising to no c—-k!” was annoying (see discussion of bleeping above) The insertion of The Great Wall and Xiang here has me worried as I truly don't want TGW fed to Truth or anybody else for a long time. No, he isn't my character, I just think the character deserves better. Yet it seems as though that is what may be the long term ending to what we see here. Also....who won or lost the actual match? I never heard any announcement of result....and my gut says that Principe wins by DQ because he ate the choke slam....even though the commentary notes he wouldn't answer a 10 count.
SLAUGHTERHOUSE GYM 2 - Daniel Dream is working hard for his shot and to make us like him, I believe. You know how great this is going to be when he goes full heel at some point. lol
KINGDOM DIVIDED - I love Aleczander. The man oozes heel charisma and this seems to put him connected to some I would never have foreseen - Master Sisters and Best of British. I swear if this ends up with Alec leading a giant faction with all of them together, Global may have a big problem.
MAKE IT RIGHT - Was this set to sometime before Magnum Opus? It was never mentioned. However there was no match for the Riches vs Master Sisters on this show and it is referenced in the segment. The entire idea is to point that the family blames Freddie for whatever has Alex Reyn on fire. I love the Riches and I loved writing some of their segments in previous leagues as Keegan entrusted me to do so. They are favs of mine and I wish we could really give them a proper push and not just be fodder for a plot hole fulfillment.
LIVE A LITTLE - Extra line spaces in the segment shows where something was either added or edited in the segment writing process. I also didn't like X using the same phrasing Reyn used earlier "parasites." I would be careful having X use similar terminology to Reyn in the future. I really liked the segment. It furthered multiple stories in one spot....X and Alfie's respect and X growing as a wrestler....and the relationship with Amber and Alfie. I'm not sold this should be a major thing pushed, but it is there. So they make the most of it. Good stuff.
MAKING THEIR OWN LUCK - This was a solid set up segment for the match that follows. I liked how this meshed and United Trouble seems to be a new faction. Solid stuff here and it sold the match to follow, which I really appreciated.
TROUBLE ROXX/TEAM UNITED VS METAL MILITIA - I won't take time to look, but didn't the older brother actually take part in a match in SCW or train the boys somehow? Allie may not know that, so I give her a pass.....but it was fun seeing how all of this came together. The best part of this for me was Metal Militia actually wrestling full on like a more experienced tag team....and they win! This made me happy. "that's not what he drinks at home" was funny as well. I loved that this seemed sold more as a match set for a stream and not so much for this broadcast....the introduction and then the concluding announcement just framed it like that. I enjoyed it for what it was and MM winning made me smile.
THE HANGOVER - They payoff to so many of the older segments as Doritos ends up with items from them and pukes. Nice to see these connect somehow.
SLAUGHTERHOUSE GYM 3 - This one didn't play as smooth as the others. I believe it was intended to show Daniel being relatable to his charge, Mr. Crossover. I swear if that is Jabari's real name, then having him be a baller with a crossover was a necessity. This seemed forced and extra and wasn't needed to sell this "good guy" image. I kept waiting for Dream to smack talk him back in some fashion. or even take umbrage that training now is just a back up to a failed NBA attempt.
FERRARI? MORE LIKE A FIAT - Dream is "the chosen one" of members of the Global board. If you hadn't picked up on that yet, here it is front and center. Pay attention to this as it is the reason his tournament starts the way it does. Context, in almost all things, is key.
IS IT OVER - Jerry David is obviously not through with EZ Rah. This will be fun.
DANIEL DREAM VS JOE PUBLIC - For those of you that may not see what is going on here, Joe Public is an easy opponent for Dream in round on...ON FREAKING PURPOSE! 2 segments earlier it is all but thrown out that some on the board wanted Dream as the man in Global from the start and Giovanni screwed it up by bringing in the talent he did. Now they want to set Dream up as next in line with the tournament, so they give him a cupcake Rd 1 opponent. He wins and even with Public getting some offense, he wins easily. This good guy thing is not what it is cracked up to be and I love the way this turned out so far.
ESPRIT DE CORPS - I like the layers here. Saul not only has a crush of sorts on Valorie but also is a veteran (which connects them further if you have read the bios). I liked t he layering here for the Saul character. this leads to a backstage brawl of sorts (very unbelievable in my humble opinion...but why ruin a rom-com ending). I did love Angel egging on the "just kiss already" to Val and Saul. That was a funny ending. But Vitality being able to overwhelm a member of The Law is not believable to me....even if she attacks from behind.
ADDRESSING THE PROBLEM - This segment is directly after the one it opens to referencing. I don't necessarily see a placement issue here, but perhaps some space between may have been called for. Saul is starting to become a standout for me....and I don't think that was what was intended when he came in with Angel to Global....but she is definitely second chair to him in my eyes with how they have been written. He makes a challenge.....but I can straight tell it is one he knows won't be answered and I feel it is more showing off for Valorie to see than anything. Not bad here.
EZ RAH VS ALFIE BUTTON - I wrote this match. Twice. This is an education on trying to write earlier rather than later when your schedule suddenly beefs up in real life. I was just back from a case and was writing the match....I had more than 2200 or so words and had probably another 1000-1500 to go in my estimation with where I was taking it and I suddenly hit the control button with the side of my finger and selected all and overwrote it. I generally write in Textpad which means I could not click undo and get it back. I ended up starting over and yes the match was abruptly ended....because I wanted to get the match in before deadline, which I believe I did (Keegan can confirm or not)
RENT ARREARS - SAME SEGMENT except this time it actually shows "hours before magnum opus" Not sure what happened there or if Scott and Keegan just got wires crossed somehow.
COMATOSE CONVERSATION - Pierson is in a coma. I'm really delving into him this arc. Hope it goes over well.
ADVERT 2 - I admit this is my favorite advert of all time. Only thing better would have been wrapping it up with complaining that saying "good boi" to a dog is assuming gender and trailing the advert off with continued complaints. Hippy Bastard.....LOL FTK.....and now FTD?
CRASH - I didn't like this placement either. I know it states that it happens earlier, but the dude is referencing his record in Global not long after the actual match he is in ended with his victory. This should have been placed earlier than his match. The actual segment is gold. Rah is a great character so far and the storyline with David is one of the better ones in the league. Great stuff here.
I'M SORRY - I enjoyed the segment from Rich. I love that he explained his appearance int he MO main event and also played the face role with the fans in regards to it. That was a great piece of writing and Rich has told a great story tonight heading into the match in the main event.
REYN VS RICH - This was match of the night. Shae does a great job in writing counters and chain blocks of moves for specific moments of the match. He really does an amazing job in crafting a good technical match for wrestlers when he writes. This match goes exactly as I would expect and I won't even begin parsing it except that hopefully now the plot hole is closed and finished. Where does Reyn go from here? Well obviously he goes to the semifinals of the contender tournament. I will admit I wasn't a fan of the referee being attacked, but it is what it is. overall a great match and it was the best of the night.
HOTEL ROOM PARTY - I disliked this. The writing itself was fine and Pedro is always solid with words. However I just hated the idea that after the show, they all just get together and hang out. The Rich brothers not anywhere with Freddie (and that is a no-no if you know the Riches). This should have just been Trouble Roxx throwing a stream party with those connected to them and leave it there. John Truth being in there doesn't work either if he is truly the old racist man who seemingly hates people in general....why is he even in this room to begin with? (unless it is his room that they took over, which would have made this really funny for me). This is the first kind of segment like this that fell flat for me....maybe I'm still a tad old school, but to me this sells the TV aspect and not the wrestling aspect of Global and that line, while blurred, still needs to be respected.
CREDITS - Thanks for including this.
=================
OVERALL THOUGHTS
=================
This show was a solid follow-up to the PPV and a great kick off for this arc of the season. On a domination rating list I think it was a solid 7 to a 7.25 for me.
The good stuff...
The main event as a whole was great, even with the nasty Ref stuff
Darring selling the title win in his own home town was great, and I wished he had one more segment later in the show
Aleczander is the bomb....love this guy.
FTK.....yes I mark for my own dude. And you all mark for your guys worse. ;p
Freddie Rich was sold very solid on this show and I knew he woudl lose, but I wished he had conquered Reyn
Daniel Dream's storyline as the chosen one has taken shape even tot he point where he hard sells being a nice dude.
EZ and David are simming on a higher level now.
Metal Militia wins! Yeah, boys!
Overall a lot of momentum for storylines moving forward
The Bad stuff...
Toeing the line on racial stuff. We really need to be carefyl here.
Hotel Room Party was off beat and missed the mark.....and the Riches being there and etc was just wrong for me.
Vitality being sold as a bad ass rings false to me. She is too small and even with advanced training and a sneak attack, she is not the difference in a fight/scrum with guys over 6'6"
Please do not connact Aleczander to that grouping of tag teams. Let him be his own asshat.....he shines at it.
Double segment for Riches....and with different names too.
The third Dream slaughterhouse gym felt forced and unnecessary.
This tournament is meant to be a "coronation of Dream" if you ask some of the board members. And yes his first rounder was simple compared to the others but it was supposed to be that way. Yes there are many who could have filled that spot.....Crusader X, Jerry David, The Great Wall, and many others. However the storylines planned for these and some others dictated that we go with an 8 man tourney and an easy first rounder for Dream was always the plan. See things in context of the story and it is understandable.
Semifinals are tougher. Dream now has Big Aug and Reyn now has EZ Rah. No free rides here either side. So I'm stoked to see what happens there.
Keegan and Scott do a good job of putting the show together. I don't fret over a misspelling here or there or even punctuation that is out of whack once in a while. I thank both of you for the work you do in putting the show together for us to enjoy and review.
Until next time folks....
So let's get rolling....
WELCOME TO MIAMI - I love these introduction segments. It sets the mood for the show and this is important because we are NOT at "The Globe" arena! We are in the back yard of "Da Champ!" This did many things in one short segment: 1) sold the show itself, 2) sold the upcoming tournament and next PPV event, 3) sold that we have a new champion and top contender for this arc. Great stuff.
I want to repeat the key word that we all need to be truly understanding here - SELL
GLOBAL CELEBRATION - One of the great problems of the last league I ran was that my first champion quite literally crapped the bed the show after he won the title. This was great for Global that the champion shows up and sells the living bejesus out of being champion. I love the you deserve it chant, and love even more when Aleczander shows up to rain on the parade. His twisting the chant to his purpose was excellent and the teasing of doing the match right here and now was top notch. This is setting up to be a standard-bearing feud for Global.
As an aside....I have been around Bell for 25+ years in this hobby (yes I am old) and he is one of the best sellers in the game overall. I have been around Seth for quite awhile in a few different feds and he has become one of my favorite handlers of all time. These two working together is going to be good for the league and fun for the readers. Good stuff guys.
AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS - Reyn and Rich....and The Great Wall? I will address the tournament as a whole in my overall thoughts, but this swerve was a no brainer as The Great Wall needs to be kept out of the title hunt for now until proper time presents itself. Reyn needs this plot hole filled (I still don't know why this "issue" from another league had to be settled here and now), so making this the main event tourney match was the "Wright move" (yeah, I can do this too. Yes, my name character is now in Global to work storylines in the admin side of the league, which will be fun. But I loved how Reyn just knew better than to even move once Hopper and Hank showed up. Make of that what you will, "parasite."
QUEEN'S BANQUET - It isn't fair that this happens in my brain and it may be why Bianca has not truly gelled in my head when I see her stuff....but I swear when I read Bianca, I read it as though I'm watching Paris Hilton with tats. So the voice in my head when I read it probably hurts where the writer wants it to go. The Jester is taunting her and I love it is driving her to look almost insane to people. "That's Hot" (and if you get that reference, you may be old too)
FAMILY MATTERS - I love Metal Militia (and when they were Trailer Park Assasinz way back when). Their interaction is fun and they are now more "legit" than before they took this new name. "shiiieeet" LOL Big time The Waire vibes there and even though Hayley said it, I read it in Clay Davis' voice. I loved this for what it sets up as the MM are here to stay
BIG AUG VS SON OF MALTA - Great first round tournament match. Big Aug is a dark horse in my mind to end up winning this thing and him against either Aleczander or Darring would be money. Heck....even in there with the likes of Dream or Reyn would be money. This match was what I hoped it would be. Malta is a serious wrestler with technical expertise and a submission skillset. Big Aug is big freaking Aug. 7-4. This is a match made in hell for Malta and yet the man holds himself well in a match he is destined to lose from the size disparity. The rare thing in this match was Son of Malta, at timers, showing a speed advantage. I have written Malt many times and never has he had a speed advantage! LOL This was so great for me in that regard. The fact that Malta not only gets a quickness edge, but manages to suplex the much larger man and get some near falls shows that he truly is one of our gatekeepers. This was a really fun match and a great job overall.
ADVERT #1 - Honestly I am happy with my smile now. Thanks for asking. I could have done without an exploding head. These adverts are kind of sick lol
SLAUGHTERHOUSE GYM - This was a nice training segment and this is really giving Dream the face shine. I'm not sure Dream could truly pull the face, but this has me wondering. I'm sick in the head. I totally read this as though Jabari is getting completely groomed by Cillian and it is only a matter of time before the kid is stuck in some dark web only fans production. LOL
PRIME TIME CELEBRATION - I love the PTA. I'm calling it now, these guys will be tag champs by end of season 1. Just good stuff here all around and they are a lot deeper than a hanz and franz rip off (aka the team they beat at Magnum Opus) Great stuff.
FTK - Gemini is the bomb. I love writing him. Keegan suggested the pairing with Smith in his feedback for the PPV and you got it. I swear I will create real life FTK shirts if I thought they would sell. The material for these guys is going to be endless.
CHAT SHIT, GET HIT - Truth is an racist old man waiting on soup at a deli, I get it (catch that reference?). When it comes to the words that he is obviously bleeping out....it may make it better to actually write the bleep [BLEEP] instead of some lines. It makes it obvious that it was a buzzword that got flagged and draws attention to it. The character will be interesting to see how it plays out. I'm not a fan of the racial undertones....and even bleeping words that could be construed as epithets is a dangerous area to traverse. Just be careful (I know you can write well enough to not need such lengths).
PRINCIPE VS TRUTH - The Powell reference was great. The fact his size is what it is should always be an issue when he referees a match. It adds layers to a match when things like that are noted. “I ain’t apologising to no c—-k!” was annoying (see discussion of bleeping above) The insertion of The Great Wall and Xiang here has me worried as I truly don't want TGW fed to Truth or anybody else for a long time. No, he isn't my character, I just think the character deserves better. Yet it seems as though that is what may be the long term ending to what we see here. Also....who won or lost the actual match? I never heard any announcement of result....and my gut says that Principe wins by DQ because he ate the choke slam....even though the commentary notes he wouldn't answer a 10 count.
SLAUGHTERHOUSE GYM 2 - Daniel Dream is working hard for his shot and to make us like him, I believe. You know how great this is going to be when he goes full heel at some point. lol
KINGDOM DIVIDED - I love Aleczander. The man oozes heel charisma and this seems to put him connected to some I would never have foreseen - Master Sisters and Best of British. I swear if this ends up with Alec leading a giant faction with all of them together, Global may have a big problem.
MAKE IT RIGHT - Was this set to sometime before Magnum Opus? It was never mentioned. However there was no match for the Riches vs Master Sisters on this show and it is referenced in the segment. The entire idea is to point that the family blames Freddie for whatever has Alex Reyn on fire. I love the Riches and I loved writing some of their segments in previous leagues as Keegan entrusted me to do so. They are favs of mine and I wish we could really give them a proper push and not just be fodder for a plot hole fulfillment.
LIVE A LITTLE - Extra line spaces in the segment shows where something was either added or edited in the segment writing process. I also didn't like X using the same phrasing Reyn used earlier "parasites." I would be careful having X use similar terminology to Reyn in the future. I really liked the segment. It furthered multiple stories in one spot....X and Alfie's respect and X growing as a wrestler....and the relationship with Amber and Alfie. I'm not sold this should be a major thing pushed, but it is there. So they make the most of it. Good stuff.
MAKING THEIR OWN LUCK - This was a solid set up segment for the match that follows. I liked how this meshed and United Trouble seems to be a new faction. Solid stuff here and it sold the match to follow, which I really appreciated.
TROUBLE ROXX/TEAM UNITED VS METAL MILITIA - I won't take time to look, but didn't the older brother actually take part in a match in SCW or train the boys somehow? Allie may not know that, so I give her a pass.....but it was fun seeing how all of this came together. The best part of this for me was Metal Militia actually wrestling full on like a more experienced tag team....and they win! This made me happy. "that's not what he drinks at home" was funny as well. I loved that this seemed sold more as a match set for a stream and not so much for this broadcast....the introduction and then the concluding announcement just framed it like that. I enjoyed it for what it was and MM winning made me smile.
THE HANGOVER - They payoff to so many of the older segments as Doritos ends up with items from them and pukes. Nice to see these connect somehow.
SLAUGHTERHOUSE GYM 3 - This one didn't play as smooth as the others. I believe it was intended to show Daniel being relatable to his charge, Mr. Crossover. I swear if that is Jabari's real name, then having him be a baller with a crossover was a necessity. This seemed forced and extra and wasn't needed to sell this "good guy" image. I kept waiting for Dream to smack talk him back in some fashion. or even take umbrage that training now is just a back up to a failed NBA attempt.
FERRARI? MORE LIKE A FIAT - Dream is "the chosen one" of members of the Global board. If you hadn't picked up on that yet, here it is front and center. Pay attention to this as it is the reason his tournament starts the way it does. Context, in almost all things, is key.
IS IT OVER - Jerry David is obviously not through with EZ Rah. This will be fun.
DANIEL DREAM VS JOE PUBLIC - For those of you that may not see what is going on here, Joe Public is an easy opponent for Dream in round on...ON FREAKING PURPOSE! 2 segments earlier it is all but thrown out that some on the board wanted Dream as the man in Global from the start and Giovanni screwed it up by bringing in the talent he did. Now they want to set Dream up as next in line with the tournament, so they give him a cupcake Rd 1 opponent. He wins and even with Public getting some offense, he wins easily. This good guy thing is not what it is cracked up to be and I love the way this turned out so far.
ESPRIT DE CORPS - I like the layers here. Saul not only has a crush of sorts on Valorie but also is a veteran (which connects them further if you have read the bios). I liked t he layering here for the Saul character. this leads to a backstage brawl of sorts (very unbelievable in my humble opinion...but why ruin a rom-com ending). I did love Angel egging on the "just kiss already" to Val and Saul. That was a funny ending. But Vitality being able to overwhelm a member of The Law is not believable to me....even if she attacks from behind.
ADDRESSING THE PROBLEM - This segment is directly after the one it opens to referencing. I don't necessarily see a placement issue here, but perhaps some space between may have been called for. Saul is starting to become a standout for me....and I don't think that was what was intended when he came in with Angel to Global....but she is definitely second chair to him in my eyes with how they have been written. He makes a challenge.....but I can straight tell it is one he knows won't be answered and I feel it is more showing off for Valorie to see than anything. Not bad here.
EZ RAH VS ALFIE BUTTON - I wrote this match. Twice. This is an education on trying to write earlier rather than later when your schedule suddenly beefs up in real life. I was just back from a case and was writing the match....I had more than 2200 or so words and had probably another 1000-1500 to go in my estimation with where I was taking it and I suddenly hit the control button with the side of my finger and selected all and overwrote it. I generally write in Textpad which means I could not click undo and get it back. I ended up starting over and yes the match was abruptly ended....because I wanted to get the match in before deadline, which I believe I did (Keegan can confirm or not)
RENT ARREARS - SAME SEGMENT except this time it actually shows "hours before magnum opus" Not sure what happened there or if Scott and Keegan just got wires crossed somehow.
COMATOSE CONVERSATION - Pierson is in a coma. I'm really delving into him this arc. Hope it goes over well.
ADVERT 2 - I admit this is my favorite advert of all time. Only thing better would have been wrapping it up with complaining that saying "good boi" to a dog is assuming gender and trailing the advert off with continued complaints. Hippy Bastard.....LOL FTK.....and now FTD?
CRASH - I didn't like this placement either. I know it states that it happens earlier, but the dude is referencing his record in Global not long after the actual match he is in ended with his victory. This should have been placed earlier than his match. The actual segment is gold. Rah is a great character so far and the storyline with David is one of the better ones in the league. Great stuff here.
I'M SORRY - I enjoyed the segment from Rich. I love that he explained his appearance int he MO main event and also played the face role with the fans in regards to it. That was a great piece of writing and Rich has told a great story tonight heading into the match in the main event.
REYN VS RICH - This was match of the night. Shae does a great job in writing counters and chain blocks of moves for specific moments of the match. He really does an amazing job in crafting a good technical match for wrestlers when he writes. This match goes exactly as I would expect and I won't even begin parsing it except that hopefully now the plot hole is closed and finished. Where does Reyn go from here? Well obviously he goes to the semifinals of the contender tournament. I will admit I wasn't a fan of the referee being attacked, but it is what it is. overall a great match and it was the best of the night.
HOTEL ROOM PARTY - I disliked this. The writing itself was fine and Pedro is always solid with words. However I just hated the idea that after the show, they all just get together and hang out. The Rich brothers not anywhere with Freddie (and that is a no-no if you know the Riches). This should have just been Trouble Roxx throwing a stream party with those connected to them and leave it there. John Truth being in there doesn't work either if he is truly the old racist man who seemingly hates people in general....why is he even in this room to begin with? (unless it is his room that they took over, which would have made this really funny for me). This is the first kind of segment like this that fell flat for me....maybe I'm still a tad old school, but to me this sells the TV aspect and not the wrestling aspect of Global and that line, while blurred, still needs to be respected.
CREDITS - Thanks for including this.
=================
OVERALL THOUGHTS
=================
This show was a solid follow-up to the PPV and a great kick off for this arc of the season. On a domination rating list I think it was a solid 7 to a 7.25 for me.
The good stuff...
The main event as a whole was great, even with the nasty Ref stuff
Darring selling the title win in his own home town was great, and I wished he had one more segment later in the show
Aleczander is the bomb....love this guy.
FTK.....yes I mark for my own dude. And you all mark for your guys worse. ;p
Freddie Rich was sold very solid on this show and I knew he woudl lose, but I wished he had conquered Reyn
Daniel Dream's storyline as the chosen one has taken shape even tot he point where he hard sells being a nice dude.
EZ and David are simming on a higher level now.
Metal Militia wins! Yeah, boys!
Overall a lot of momentum for storylines moving forward
The Bad stuff...
Toeing the line on racial stuff. We really need to be carefyl here.
Hotel Room Party was off beat and missed the mark.....and the Riches being there and etc was just wrong for me.
Vitality being sold as a bad ass rings false to me. She is too small and even with advanced training and a sneak attack, she is not the difference in a fight/scrum with guys over 6'6"
Please do not connact Aleczander to that grouping of tag teams. Let him be his own asshat.....he shines at it.
Double segment for Riches....and with different names too.
The third Dream slaughterhouse gym felt forced and unnecessary.
This tournament is meant to be a "coronation of Dream" if you ask some of the board members. And yes his first rounder was simple compared to the others but it was supposed to be that way. Yes there are many who could have filled that spot.....Crusader X, Jerry David, The Great Wall, and many others. However the storylines planned for these and some others dictated that we go with an 8 man tourney and an easy first rounder for Dream was always the plan. See things in context of the story and it is understandable.
Semifinals are tougher. Dream now has Big Aug and Reyn now has EZ Rah. No free rides here either side. So I'm stoked to see what happens there.
Keegan and Scott do a good job of putting the show together. I don't fret over a misspelling here or there or even punctuation that is out of whack once in a while. I thank both of you for the work you do in putting the show together for us to enjoy and review.
Until next time folks....
Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread
Thanks for the fantastic feedback, Chris.
Blame me for the segment appearing twice, I somehow missed that DESPITE reading the show twice, and I take 100% of the blame for the Riches appearing in the final segment too. That's on me, not Pedro, even if I could argue that they'd still make an appearance. I won't. So, yes, those two are on me and compound the fact that I suck at this.
Blame me for the segment appearing twice, I somehow missed that DESPITE reading the show twice, and I take 100% of the blame for the Riches appearing in the final segment too. That's on me, not Pedro, even if I could argue that they'd still make an appearance. I won't. So, yes, those two are on me and compound the fact that I suck at this.
Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread
A few thoughts on the stuff I wrote, Chris:
What you said about Wall being fed to Truth? More like the opposite. Also, the match was a NOOOOOO CONTESTUUUUUUU! (As both men were outside the ring for a ten-count.) Still about John...watch where his story is going, I think you'll like it
You may be right about Metal Militia's fourth member, I don't remember myself. Anyway, the intention was always 100% for them to be a more serious tag team, as it has been two years, and they have taken it seriously in that time (probably inspired by Sister Hayley going to Japan to get some real training under her idol.)
Saul's segments were set up that way on purpose, as one takes place at Magnum Opus, and the second one is meant to follow on directly, except it's set in the present. Two weeks later, but it's almost the same setup. Also, I too was surprised at Saul coming through like that, as I have very seldom had him 'talk' in a wrestling context like this, and the last time was like six/seven years ago. I guess THAT'S THE POWER OF LOVE! (Or Marine loyalty, either or.)
I DID tell Keeg to edit the Riches out if something dramatic was going to happen. I wish I had not mentioned them now, lol. Also, if you notice, John comes to the door to COMPLAIN about the noise. At no point does he join the party. He does not trust large gatherings, and he especially does not trust 'goddamn kids'.
What you said about Wall being fed to Truth? More like the opposite. Also, the match was a NOOOOOO CONTESTUUUUUUU! (As both men were outside the ring for a ten-count.) Still about John...watch where his story is going, I think you'll like it
You may be right about Metal Militia's fourth member, I don't remember myself. Anyway, the intention was always 100% for them to be a more serious tag team, as it has been two years, and they have taken it seriously in that time (probably inspired by Sister Hayley going to Japan to get some real training under her idol.)
Saul's segments were set up that way on purpose, as one takes place at Magnum Opus, and the second one is meant to follow on directly, except it's set in the present. Two weeks later, but it's almost the same setup. Also, I too was surprised at Saul coming through like that, as I have very seldom had him 'talk' in a wrestling context like this, and the last time was like six/seven years ago. I guess THAT'S THE POWER OF LOVE! (Or Marine loyalty, either or.)
I DID tell Keeg to edit the Riches out if something dramatic was going to happen. I wish I had not mentioned them now, lol. Also, if you notice, John comes to the door to COMPLAIN about the noise. At no point does he join the party. He does not trust large gatherings, and he especially does not trust 'goddamn kids'.
Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread
Gemini would agree with John there......FTK
lol
And Keegan, you do not suck at this.
lol
And Keegan, you do not suck at this.
Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread
I didn’t even notice the double post! As for the Riches it’s not really that big of deal - more funny… any fedhead including myself has still done worse!!Keegan wrote: ↑Tue Mar 14, 2023 8:24 am Thanks for the fantastic feedback, Chris.
Blame me for the segment appearing twice, I somehow missed that DESPITE reading the show twice, and I take 100% of the blame for the Riches appearing in the final segment too. That's on me, not Pedro, even if I could argue that they'd still make an appearance. I won't. So, yes, those two are on me and compound the fact that I suck at this.
Handle: "The Legend" Sean Darring & Prime Time Athletes
Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread
I believe I have a proof of this with pee gate
Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread
Welcome to Miami - I love segments like this, really sells GLOBAL as a big company with loads going on and highlights that we have a lot of storylines going on at the moment all equally important. Great opener.
GLOBAL celebration - Classic face promo from Sean and really sells the battle he went through, you totally buy into the crowd reacting like that for their hometown hero too. ATG came out at just the right moment to to tease the match before leaving us wanting more. Sells Sean as the resilient babyface, Aleczander as a cowardly heel and gets the ball rolling on their feud for the title. Everything it needed to be.
Aggressive Negotiations - The emphasis of ACTUAL LOADED PISTOLS seems weird to me, are they suggesting they're actually going to murder someone? This moved along the Reyn/Rich feud which I've said from the start I still don't really get as it feels like a lot of the storytelling happened prior to Global. This is entertaining though and sets up the main event.
The Queens Banquet - Really interested where this one goes as I wasn't fully expecting it to go full medieval vibes with guards and rhyme. The queen remains as unlikable as normal so will be interesting to see how she fares against a different type of foe. If there's any two guys that can make it work though, they're probably busy. I'm sure Scott and John will give it their best shot though.
Family Matters - This already has the making of a fun family dynamic that could bolster the singles and tag divisions. Pretty sure that Pedro is about 80% of the roster now but if he's got the time and we keep getting fun characters like this I'm all for it. Welcome Metal Militia!
Big Aug Vs Son Of Malta - This was a great opener that showcased both men well and added to the importance of the current tournament. Big Aug needed the win more than SOM here so I'm glad he got it. Expecting Big Aug to at least reach the finals here.
Advertisement - This made me extremely uncomfortable. Like I had to go check my teeth in the mirror uncomfortable. Don't do this to me.
The Slaughterhouse Gym Segments - Personally I think the first part went on a bit long for what was essentially someone explaining what wrestling moves are and I'm not sure it benefitted from being in 3 parts. The character work was spot on though. Overall this was a good showcase into the mind set of dream after his loss and potential new personality as well.
Prime Time Celebration - These guys are celebrating harder than Sean Darring for their first win! The boys called their shots for their next target and that should be a fun interaction, will be a very different style of interaction from their first feud so I'm looking forward to it.
FTK - I find it extremely funny that Chris is a big advocate of careful usage of guns and racism on the shows (rightly so) but is now making a catchphrase out of 'Fuck Them Kids' which obviously has horrific implications when taken out of context. This worked well and introduced us to another new character who others seem to know, interested to see where it goes.
Chat Shit, Get Hit - A very risky character but seems to be working well so far, as previously mentioned Truth would be great at getting over faces or helping anyone turn. You get quite nervous just reading his stuff and what might be said which is exactly the point.
EL PRINCIPE Vs. JOHN J. TRUTH - This was a messy match but I mean that in the best possible way. Some punishment was doled out to Truth which is always great, it's starting to seem like he won't have a single feud now but will just be up against the entire roster whenever he steps foot in the ring.
A KINGDOM DIVIDED - I'm still on the fence about if Aleczander needs a faction around him or not but this was a great piece that juggled multiple characters well. There are some big characters with big personalities here and yet no-one felt like an afterthought which can be difficult to do so well done.
Make It Right Got confused when I read this at first as I thought Frank had been in a coma for the past 2 weeks. The more I see of the Rich family and their dynamic the more interesting they become which is about as much as you can ask for really, I'm starting to see why they get quite a bit of focus on most shows.
Making Their Own Luck - Good introduction to the impromptu match. I like the idea of Trouble Roxx not getting booked so having to lay down frequent open challenges to make sure they get on the card. They're charismatic and eager enough to pull off an angle like that.
TROUBLE ROXX & TEAM UNITED Vs. METAL MILITIA - I found the ending to be a bit odd, like a play had just finished so they all took a bow and exited stage left. Other than that this was a fun match where everyone got a piece of the action. Makes sense for the group who knows each other well to get the win and was a good showcase of what we can expect from them in the future.
The Hangover - This was word for word stolen from Brendan Frasier's Oscar acceptance speech and Scott should be ashamed of himself.
FERRARI? MORE LIKE A FIAT - I really enjoy seeing these segments where we get to see some of the inner workings behind GLOBAL. Will be good to see what the ramifications will be from this.
Is it Over - Still not a big fan of the bro and Jerry can eat a bag of dicks too.
DANIEL DREAM Vs. JOE PUBLIC This was storytelling way more than it was an official match and honestly I'm surprised Joe got in as much offense as he did. Dreams new nice guy persona is now at odds with this push from higher up giving him the easy win so consider me invested.
ESPRIT DE CORPS - Ah man, Angel didn't deserve that. Loads of alliances being formed at the moment at GLOBAL. Maybe I need to write myself some backup. I'm all for new characters being introduced but there's been quite a few over the past few weeks. Not necessarily a bad thing, I'm just going to struggle to remember who everyone is.
ADDRESSING THE PROBLEM - Good follow up from the previous segment. Sets up the next moves for Angel and co and hits the ground running. Angel showing uncharacteristic fear was a nice touch.
E Z RAH Vs. ALFIE BUTTON - Chris did a great job with this match, highlighted E Z's greenness in the ring by having him take a while to spot the weakness, the move set he would use and all his mannerisms. Couldn't have written it better myself. Can't say I was expecting E Z to advance but it's nice to see him interact with someone who isn't Jerry David, who can go eat a bag of dicks.
RENT ARREARS - Oh shit I think there's a glitch in the matrix. PULL ME OUT MORPHEUS!!
COMATOSE CONVERSATION - These segments work so well in establishing that Global is not a straight up Promo and match kinda fed. Feels like we're going to get a split personality thing going on which would make for a great gimmick.
Advertisement 2 - This seems to come from a place of deep seated anger and aggression that seems unwarranted. Scott if you ever need to talk, I'm sure someone else would be here for you. Don't bother me with this shit though.
Crash - Scott and I have had an arc 2 planned for a while now so we just wanted to assure people it wasn't going to be more of the same for the next few weeks. Glad to see people enjoyed it.
I'M SORRY - Really gave the main event a huge personal touch and made it feel like it was deserving of it's placement in the card. I'm sure absolutely no-one is convinced Freddie has a chance in hell, remember when VIP was alive?
ALEX REYN Vs. FREDDIE RICH - This was a great match, way more competitive than I expected it to be and I'm glad it didn't devolve too much into horror movie territory. Really entertaining match that showcased Reyns ruthlessness and Freddies tenacity. Freddie is now dead and Reyn moves on in the tournament to face...oh shit.
HOTEL ROOM PARTY - This was fun but I agree that the placement after such a brutal match seems a bit off, just doesn't seem like the right note to end the show on. Pedro does a great job at handling so many characters and personalities that segments like this seem natural and never forced.
Overall another cracking show. Nice to see some new feuds hit the ground running and the title already garnering a high reputation by being the focus of a lot of segments. Tag belts were conspicuously absent though (Not the sisters, the next plans for them).
GLOBAL celebration - Classic face promo from Sean and really sells the battle he went through, you totally buy into the crowd reacting like that for their hometown hero too. ATG came out at just the right moment to to tease the match before leaving us wanting more. Sells Sean as the resilient babyface, Aleczander as a cowardly heel and gets the ball rolling on their feud for the title. Everything it needed to be.
Aggressive Negotiations - The emphasis of ACTUAL LOADED PISTOLS seems weird to me, are they suggesting they're actually going to murder someone? This moved along the Reyn/Rich feud which I've said from the start I still don't really get as it feels like a lot of the storytelling happened prior to Global. This is entertaining though and sets up the main event.
The Queens Banquet - Really interested where this one goes as I wasn't fully expecting it to go full medieval vibes with guards and rhyme. The queen remains as unlikable as normal so will be interesting to see how she fares against a different type of foe. If there's any two guys that can make it work though, they're probably busy. I'm sure Scott and John will give it their best shot though.
Family Matters - This already has the making of a fun family dynamic that could bolster the singles and tag divisions. Pretty sure that Pedro is about 80% of the roster now but if he's got the time and we keep getting fun characters like this I'm all for it. Welcome Metal Militia!
Big Aug Vs Son Of Malta - This was a great opener that showcased both men well and added to the importance of the current tournament. Big Aug needed the win more than SOM here so I'm glad he got it. Expecting Big Aug to at least reach the finals here.
Advertisement - This made me extremely uncomfortable. Like I had to go check my teeth in the mirror uncomfortable. Don't do this to me.
The Slaughterhouse Gym Segments - Personally I think the first part went on a bit long for what was essentially someone explaining what wrestling moves are and I'm not sure it benefitted from being in 3 parts. The character work was spot on though. Overall this was a good showcase into the mind set of dream after his loss and potential new personality as well.
Prime Time Celebration - These guys are celebrating harder than Sean Darring for their first win! The boys called their shots for their next target and that should be a fun interaction, will be a very different style of interaction from their first feud so I'm looking forward to it.
FTK - I find it extremely funny that Chris is a big advocate of careful usage of guns and racism on the shows (rightly so) but is now making a catchphrase out of 'Fuck Them Kids' which obviously has horrific implications when taken out of context. This worked well and introduced us to another new character who others seem to know, interested to see where it goes.
Chat Shit, Get Hit - A very risky character but seems to be working well so far, as previously mentioned Truth would be great at getting over faces or helping anyone turn. You get quite nervous just reading his stuff and what might be said which is exactly the point.
EL PRINCIPE Vs. JOHN J. TRUTH - This was a messy match but I mean that in the best possible way. Some punishment was doled out to Truth which is always great, it's starting to seem like he won't have a single feud now but will just be up against the entire roster whenever he steps foot in the ring.
A KINGDOM DIVIDED - I'm still on the fence about if Aleczander needs a faction around him or not but this was a great piece that juggled multiple characters well. There are some big characters with big personalities here and yet no-one felt like an afterthought which can be difficult to do so well done.
Make It Right Got confused when I read this at first as I thought Frank had been in a coma for the past 2 weeks. The more I see of the Rich family and their dynamic the more interesting they become which is about as much as you can ask for really, I'm starting to see why they get quite a bit of focus on most shows.
Making Their Own Luck - Good introduction to the impromptu match. I like the idea of Trouble Roxx not getting booked so having to lay down frequent open challenges to make sure they get on the card. They're charismatic and eager enough to pull off an angle like that.
TROUBLE ROXX & TEAM UNITED Vs. METAL MILITIA - I found the ending to be a bit odd, like a play had just finished so they all took a bow and exited stage left. Other than that this was a fun match where everyone got a piece of the action. Makes sense for the group who knows each other well to get the win and was a good showcase of what we can expect from them in the future.
The Hangover - This was word for word stolen from Brendan Frasier's Oscar acceptance speech and Scott should be ashamed of himself.
FERRARI? MORE LIKE A FIAT - I really enjoy seeing these segments where we get to see some of the inner workings behind GLOBAL. Will be good to see what the ramifications will be from this.
Is it Over - Still not a big fan of the bro and Jerry can eat a bag of dicks too.
DANIEL DREAM Vs. JOE PUBLIC This was storytelling way more than it was an official match and honestly I'm surprised Joe got in as much offense as he did. Dreams new nice guy persona is now at odds with this push from higher up giving him the easy win so consider me invested.
ESPRIT DE CORPS - Ah man, Angel didn't deserve that. Loads of alliances being formed at the moment at GLOBAL. Maybe I need to write myself some backup. I'm all for new characters being introduced but there's been quite a few over the past few weeks. Not necessarily a bad thing, I'm just going to struggle to remember who everyone is.
ADDRESSING THE PROBLEM - Good follow up from the previous segment. Sets up the next moves for Angel and co and hits the ground running. Angel showing uncharacteristic fear was a nice touch.
E Z RAH Vs. ALFIE BUTTON - Chris did a great job with this match, highlighted E Z's greenness in the ring by having him take a while to spot the weakness, the move set he would use and all his mannerisms. Couldn't have written it better myself. Can't say I was expecting E Z to advance but it's nice to see him interact with someone who isn't Jerry David, who can go eat a bag of dicks.
RENT ARREARS - Oh shit I think there's a glitch in the matrix. PULL ME OUT MORPHEUS!!
COMATOSE CONVERSATION - These segments work so well in establishing that Global is not a straight up Promo and match kinda fed. Feels like we're going to get a split personality thing going on which would make for a great gimmick.
Advertisement 2 - This seems to come from a place of deep seated anger and aggression that seems unwarranted. Scott if you ever need to talk, I'm sure someone else would be here for you. Don't bother me with this shit though.
Crash - Scott and I have had an arc 2 planned for a while now so we just wanted to assure people it wasn't going to be more of the same for the next few weeks. Glad to see people enjoyed it.
I'M SORRY - Really gave the main event a huge personal touch and made it feel like it was deserving of it's placement in the card. I'm sure absolutely no-one is convinced Freddie has a chance in hell, remember when VIP was alive?
ALEX REYN Vs. FREDDIE RICH - This was a great match, way more competitive than I expected it to be and I'm glad it didn't devolve too much into horror movie territory. Really entertaining match that showcased Reyns ruthlessness and Freddies tenacity. Freddie is now dead and Reyn moves on in the tournament to face...oh shit.
HOTEL ROOM PARTY - This was fun but I agree that the placement after such a brutal match seems a bit off, just doesn't seem like the right note to end the show on. Pedro does a great job at handling so many characters and personalities that segments like this seem natural and never forced.
Overall another cracking show. Nice to see some new feuds hit the ground running and the title already garnering a high reputation by being the focus of a lot of segments. Tag belts were conspicuously absent though (Not the sisters, the next plans for them).
Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread
Great Feedback!
Re: DOMINATION [06] - Feedback Thread
It is, and I want to thank everyone who has given feedback. What we do get is both brilliant and greatly appreciated. Cheers again to everyone.